Tag: writing

On The Future

The experiences of our past shape who we are. They often help us determine our course of action in the future. Although we can't let bad experiences fill us with fear, preventing us from creating good, positive experiences in the future, we would be fools to not mind the lessons we've learned.

In relationships, we need to be able to approach new people, and new opportunities with an open heart. When we find that person that we truly want to be with, and who wants to be with us, we should be able to put down our defenses, and be vulnerable. We can relax in an openness of self, willing to give from our core energy, and open to accepting what they give. Past misgivings from other relationships need to be dealt with on an emotional level. The hurt given to us through life, whether it be with other interpersonal relationships, damage done by strangers, or just the inevitabilities, or random events that cause us pain, and grief, need to be dealt with on an emotional level so that we can come to terms with that hurt, end our grieving, and accept the good things that are ahead of us.

However, red flags are red flags. If that special someone starts exhibiting concerning behavior, it shouldn't go ignored. Frank, and direct conversations about it, expressing concerns, and the feelings generated by their behavior should be initiated long before those behaviors do damage. From there you will get a sense of how your partner wants to deal with it.

Do they listen to your concerns? Do they get defensive? Do they try to turn it back on you, or do they engage in a dialogue while accepting their own responsibility to your feelings? Do they apologize curtly, and try to end, or steer the discussion elsewhere? Do they continue to exhibit the same behavior afterward?

Take notes. I know that sounds formal, but keep a journal or a diary. Don't just rely on your memory, which might be clouded by emotions while engaging in such conversations. Keep notes in case you need to look back, and remind yourself how things happened, what was said, how it transpired. It will help keep you from feeling crazy if your partner is trying to gaslight you, or manipulate you.

But, you have to deal with you first. Take some long, hard, critical looks at your past. FEEL the feelings, and emotions tied up within your experiences. Get professional counseling if you think you can't resolve those past feelings. Trust me, talking out all of the jumbles of thoughts, and feelings that can sometimes overwhelm is vital, and helpful.

Most importantly, don't assume the worst of a person just because things can sometimes be difficult, or even more, just because your past has been difficult. Talk it out. Talk it out. Talk it out. Be open, be honest, especially with yourself. If your partner can't handle your honesty, your feelings, or what you want from your relationship, they're probably not the right one for you...

Cutting Close To The Bone

God showed these to me. I know, that's a pretty strange statement for an atheist, but it's this god, not YOUR god...

Anyway, after this week, these are so close to the truth, they literally hurt for me to read. Major props to Holly Chisholm for being able to illustrate just how things often feel...

This is often how I feel in the morning, when I wake up alone. Sometimes it's not even waking up in the morning. Sometimes, no matter where I am, I just feel too heavy to move myself...
...which is also this. Even when I know I have to do something, or I should, it feel like all of my energy is lost simply figuring out how to get started.


Which is why hurt takes me so far off task. I try to not let myself be hurt, but my world is pretty heartless at times...


And this would help SO much.


But, alas, there aren't many places, or people where I feel that I'm good enough, ever.
So I often hide in music that can drown out those thoughts. Sometimes, it even stops me from sleeping because being in bed is time to think....


Which also reminds me of how I've been taught to not like myself, even when I tell myself I should love myself...


I think it started because of people. And people are always the fuel that revives it...
And even when I think things are under control, and going well, I know something terrible is always looming.


Which is why when I look up from the well I'm stuck in, my sky is often filled with dark, gloomy clouds.



Go love her work.


Four years ago, January, I bought a bottle of Johnnie Walker. A splurge at the time, because financially things weren't well. But I felt I needed something to help me... help me relax. Help me deal with anxiety. Help me unwind where there was no where, and no one, in my life to help with that.

I just finished that bottle.

Perhaps I need to unwind more... but I'd rather do it sober.

Write drunk, edit sober.

Let the writing begin.

As The Usual

My Facebook Timeline is constantly filled with some of the most ridiculous, and dumbest things that people decided to share.

I only see it because they're my friends on Facebook, so I see what they share.

However, those same friends rarely, if ever, share my creative work, art, photography, or the work I do for others.

So, there's that.... right?

Funny How We Listen

Everyone who finds it, finds it in their own way. Everyone who expresses it, expresses it in their own way. But you don’t find it until open your heart, and open your mind, and allow your energy to guide you without allowing those social expectations, and preconceived notions of what life is, and what life should be get in the way.


It's a sad day when I can't even come up with a decent title for a blog entry. No clever word play. No playful word cleverness. Just bland.

I think once things settle from the movie production I'm going to lock myself in my house for about four days, and write. A screenplay. A novel. Something. What are the stories that last throughout the ages? The struggles of a common man against great adversity? An eternal love spun from the horrors of the violence of humanity? Abstract looks at modern life, love, and the challenges represented by coping with our humanity? Cannibals? Ancient Composers? Marathon Runners? Gladiators!

I guess the point I'm trying to make is comedies, and sci-fi never really win best picture, and comparatively sell fewer books. 50 Shades of Gray has sold 125-million copies of four installments, and it is complete crap. Likewise, Twilight has also sold 120-million in five installments. Star Wars, one of the world's most popular franchises, has had over 300 installments, by various authors, and sources, and collectively has sold 150-million. 50 Shades of Grey which is probably on an even par with trashy paper-back Romance novels ("...her breath quickened as Duke Remington thrust his purple-headed solider into her moist, yet trembling apple pie of love.") except less creative, and poorly written, yet out-sells what is now a Disney franchise by a generously conservative 6:1 ratio per installment. Meanwhile, Star Wars also lost out on Best Picture to the story of an amateur boxer given a once-in-a-lifetime shot at the title, and thustly, was pummeled mercilessly.

So where do I start? A half-baked romance involving a billionaire predator trying to get a college student to be his sex slave? A fake documentary about a woman fighting against social injustices highlighting the socio-political, and religious shortcomings of modern society? I certainly can't write a sci-fi about the intergalactic socio-political struggles of a young man following an ancient religion. Or, the story of a stand-up comedian who just isn't funny. Not if I want it to actually work, and be recognized as a good bit of writing.



She Said

She said I'm wrong
I said I'm right
She said things are black and white
I said all things can be colored by perspective
She said I have a type
I said my type is people who can love
She said I love too easily
I said love shouldn't be so hard
She said I'm a fixer
I said only for what can be fixed
She said I like to fix people
I said I like to show people how they shine
She said I only love the broken
I said everyone is a little broken
She said I seek out the broken
I said those that need me find me
She said I'll never be happy
I said my happiness grows when others are happy
She said things will never be
I said seeds don't grow if you don't give them water
She said she can't
I said she decided she won't
She said it's impossible
I said she doesn't see the possibilities
She said she is broken
I said everyone is a little broken
She said she is tired
I said sleep and look forward to tomorrow
She said she's afraid
I said she has to face her fears
She said she loves me
I said I love her too
She said I love too easily
I said love shouldn't be so hard

A Story From Days Gone By

Sitting on a flight to Chicago. Flying United is like flying on a school bus…

Waiting for my originating flight in Montreal was a bit odd. There was no non-stop and at every gate CNN feed. Instead they had on a Canadian new feed that was mostly in French. I don’t speak French, at all… yet somehow it was still more informative than CNN.

Someone who will remain nameless… let’s just call him douchebag… asked again tonight if I could meet him in Chicago at 9:00PM when my flight takes off from DC at 9:58PM… logistics are so difficult for him.

It should be an interesting night… and tomorrow. Getting into Chicago late tonight and needing to be up early tomorrow for training. I feel like tomorrow is going to be a day of scrutiny against me… just the way things have been going for me lately. I feel like they’re looking for a reason… any reason, to shove me out the door from this contract. I’m still trying to solve the reason why. I have my suspicions, but I’ll keep them to myself.

Still, I think it’s funny. From the side of the contract I’m on, no one on the team has been doing this longer, or better, in my opinion.

The local sales rep commented, “I can’t believe how quickly and how well this whole project came together this week with no prior IT planning…”

“Well, they sent you the best they had…” was my only response.

And I sincerely believe that. Ok, that might sound a bit conceited, but those that know me know I am anything but. I will be the first person to be disappointed in myself. I have the highest expectations for me and falling anywhere short of those expectations is devastating to me. I have to do better.

But in this case, I am the best they have.

The attitude they’ve taken towards me lately has been more than discouraging in what has already been a very one-sided relationship.

Story of my life, I think.

Now to solve that problem. I don’t know if it will happen tomorrow, or Friday… but it will happen.

I’m set to embark on the next phase.

But the first couple days of this trip were pretty awesome. Montreal, a city I have always wanted to visit but have never done so. I need to make it a more frequent spot to go. Besides Melbourne and Sydney, this was by far the best place I’ve been. I think it’s the European flair and flavor that gets me. The narrow, cobblestone streets. The turn of the century architecture. The language… the people… the fashion… it was all so captivating to me. So much different than the little snow-globe world I grew up and have lived in my whole life in upstate New York.

Now granted growing up only a 15 minute drive from the Canadian boarder, the culture in Buffalo is at least a little more aware of Canada – the differences, the similarities… where it is on a map. Much more aware than the average area in middle-America at least. But the culture in Buffalo is still so much American. Rigid, self-centered, conservative…

Much different than what I have found the places I’ve visited and spent time in further north to be.

And I had a great time with the local rep for the vendor. Someone who actually said, “Hey, your first time in town, let me show you around.” Usually they want little to do with the contractors after the day is done. We went to a restaurant in old Montreal, spoke to beautiful women, watched a Canadiens’ game, had excellent wine. He taught me a little French and I taught him what a Jagerbomb was.

I actually had a really good time.

I was a bit worried about working with the guy after he asked me for the fifth time if I could fly in on Monday night, and I had to answer that Tuesday morning was the best I could offer, yet again. He seemed uptight about the job. I assured him we would be fine with one and a half days to finish what needed to be done. And, of course, we were. He was much more relaxed after the first day when he saw how quickly I could go through what needed to be done.

I’m pushing to get more jobs up there. With more notice and no trip to Chicago right afterwards, it’s a drive, not a flight. I can deal with that.

But I have to sort the issues at hand and get the jobs.

Ahhh… as Joe Walsh has sang, “Lucky I’m sane after all I’ve been through…”

Yeah, for the most part, life’s been good to me so far…

Ironic that I feel I can say that right now… it really is.


November 20, 2008

Managing Remote Workers: 5 Best Practices for Virtual Companies

In an ever changing global business landscape, businesses, and other organizations constantly seek new ways to streamline resources, reduce over-head, and reach new geographical regions without opening satellite offices. Offering telecommuting positions to accomplish these goals has grown in popularity among large businesses, small businesses, and government agencies. With improvements in technologies to make telecommuting both possible, and efficient, telecommuting opportunities continue to increase.

Managing remote workers, however, is a challenge most businesses venturing into the world of telecommuting struggle with initially, and a concern that keeps many businesses in more traditional modes of managing personnel.

If you’re a business owner, or manager considering moving to telecommuting policies, it is important to know that there are well researched, and documented strategies for successfully managing remote workers. Such policies have been researched, and implemented by other successful telecommute friendly organizations such as Amazon, Dell, UnitedHealth Group, and Federal Government Agencies coast-to-coast.

What are some of those challenges that concern managers with telecommute initiatives? An MIT study in 2009 showed the most common concerns are communication challenges, resulting in a lack of trust, a lack of team unity, a lack of shared responsibility, and a lack of commitment by team members when working on achieving team goals. Also, business leaders felt managing remote workers could lead to a failure to develop task-related processes, clear goals, and standards, while lacking ways to effectively collaborate while taking advantage of team member skills, and expertise.

However, even these concerns shouldn’t dissuade managers, or business owners from implementing work from home policies. The noted benefits of having a virtual workforce should far outweigh these concerns. Advantages such as cost reductions, increased sharing of knowledge of markets, and best practices, and geographic diversity with the ability to cover multiple time-zones, or even continents, are all compelling factors that have driven so many other businesses to move more, and more toward virtual workforces.

Working to the benefit of business is the ever increasing, and rapidly expanding technology capabilities that can be leveraged to facilitate these business initiatives. Managing remote workers becomes much easier, and less frustrating for managers, and the remote workers as well when technology is properly utilized. Technologies such as hosted VOIP based telephone, and office communication systems, unified communications, instant messaging, video teleconference, paperless document management, secure electronic signatures, cloud based collaboration platforms, and cloud based data storage..And, of course, backed by an expanding high-speed broadband, and wireless broadband infrastructure that is reaching more remote locations all the time.

There’s no real mystery behind managing remote workers, although previous research has definitely outlined some guidelines to make it easier. One pitfall that some managers fall into is thinking that remote workers have to be managed in fundamentally different ways than traditional office workers. When it comes down to it, they’re still people working for an organization, and toward a common goal. Treating them fundamentally differently can cause feelings of alienation. However, focus must be put toward keeping open lines of frequent communication with virtual workers, and with the teams they need to collaborate with in order to help virtual workers feel connected to their teams.

Fortunately this is an area where I have direct experience. As a business owner handling a contract that required field services in the healthcare market throughout North America, the Caribbean, and Asia-Pacific, having a virtual workforce was the most effective, and efficient way to provide the services our clients demanded, while keeping control on expenses. We leveraged technologies effectively, including unified communications, and central document storage, which was vital since my technicians where not only a technical implementation, and technical support team, but also acted as traveling project managers of these multi-million dollar implementations. With a mix of direct employees, and contracted technicians from multiple geographic areas, we were able to balance service levels, and travel times, with productivity, and even allowed our contractors extra time at home; after all, life-work balance is important for everyone, and happy workers tend to be more effective, and loyal workers. We effectively became a virtual company, providing an unequaled level of service to our clients!

Here is our list of the top 5 best Practices for Virtual Companies in managing remote workers:

Keep virtual workers in close communication.

This one should speak for itself. One of the benefits of having a co-located staff is seeing them everyday, allowing them the opportunity to directly communicate with each other, and management, and being able to directly communicate with them in real-time when necessary. Communication with remote teams can be a little different since fact-to-face contact within moments is not always possible, but keeping open lines of communication is both possible, and essential. Advances in technology to unify communication systems, and of course the proliferation of mobile devices make this extremely easy these days.

Best practices state there are guidelines, and expectations that should be clearly laid out, and required. Expectations such as how long it should take to respond to emails, what follow-up steps should be taken, and set days, and times for remote workers to “check-in” with a phone call. Without such structure, remote workers will begin to feel isolated, forgotten, or even inconsequential. Remote workers should understand they are obligated to meet these requirements as part of their position. The use of instant messengers, and other virtual collaboration tools should also be encouraged.

2. Create a collaborative team environment.

Managing remote workers is still a team building process. Co-located workers, and remote workers might perform their duties over a physically disperse geographical region, but ultimately they wear the same team uniform, and have the same team goals. Although some healthy competition, and cooperation can help fuel performance, a manager still needs to be cognizant of the importance of building a collaborative team environment.

Now, a collaborative team environment might seem to imply that everyone gets along all of the time. This is not the case. Without some conflict, whether it be opposing ideas, or simply stating unpleasant truths, team members might be withholding ideas, or suppressing their own viewpoints, which are backed by their unique knowledge, and experience. If ideas are suppressed in an effort to keep the peace, or not upset other team members, there are lost opportunities for growth, or efficiency. Without this input, the team can be losing out on the very benefits of having a diversity among team members.

As a manager, each team member needs to know that they are valued, and their opinions within their role on the team are important.

In my role as a virtual manager, any time my team came together in one place, which was usually for the purposes of R&D or training, I made sure that we set aside time during that visit to all be in each other’s presence, discuss problems, issues, concerns, or simply new challenges that we were facing, and I facilitated a round-table discussion on how we could best achieve results in dealing with those obstacles. Whether it was based around process workflows, or simply the rigors of working independently, and traveling daily, we had open discussions, created lists of solutions, and then implemented policies, and best practices based on those meetings.

3. Establish performance standards, and clarify expectations

Regardless of their physical location, the expectations, and requirements set with remote workers shouldn’t vary greatly from those set with co-located workers. Again, they’re all part of the same team, so extreme differences in requirements may create feelings of animosity, or alienation.

The establishment of performance standards is essential. Managing remote workers, for the most part, eliminates the ability to observe their work, and results directly. Furthermore, working with remote workers who may all come from different cultural, or business backgrounds can create major breakdowns in performance, and communication if these expectations are not clearly laid out. Expectations should outline the team goals, and how each member is to go about achieving those goals. It should also include expected communication standards, and behavior standards, as noted in the first bullet-point regarding communication.

Have I mentioned communication is really important? I think I may have.

Along with this, be sure to recognize the positive accomplishments of your remote workers. Celebrating goal achievement, and other successes helps all employees feel noticed, which is especially important for remote workers to have a tendency to feel invisible, or ignored due to their physical distance from the office.

4. Adapt coaching strategies to managing remote workers

Getting in the same room with the people that you manage is still important. As I noted from my own personal example, natural opportunities to get teams together should be taken advantage of for team building, and learning sessions. However, regularly scheduled visits with each team member should also be on the agenda.

There isn’t a whole lot of research in the arena of how often in-person visits should occur. Predictability is more important than frequency in this regard, and obviously travel budgets will play a role in dictating what is possible. If your remote worker knows you will be there to visit, observe, and assist every three months, or six months, it does build consistency, rapport, and trust. Just as important, the manager must put a genuine effort into understanding each worker’s unique environment, and workflow. Join in on sales-calls, conference calls, or project updates so you can see their position as a remote worker from their perspective.

Since managing remote workers means you don’t have frequent, direct access to observe their performance, this is another area where technology can help. Regular “touch-base” review calls should be scheduled to look at performance metrics, and daily activities. Such deliverables that can be reviewed by indirect observation are any required documents, or reports, their completion status, and if they’re delivered on time. Email communications between team members, and clients, contributions by team members on conference calls, or in group discussions, and any team goal metrics such as sales quotas, sales activity, or customer satisfaction feedback gives the manager valuable insight into the performance of remote workers.

5. Build a trust-based working environment

In the above sections, I’ve noted items such as communication, collaboration, clarity, and consistency. Each of these concepts goes toward creating trust, and is effective in doing so, but they are not the whole picture.

Within managing remote workers, or any team of people, it is important that the team members get to know each other. Personal knowledge between team members: their strengths, the areas where they’re not as strong, their backgrounds, and their experiences. Consider creating a team page using a cloud based collaboration service, or your company’s CRM platform, complete with team member biographies to allow local, and virtual employees to learn more about each other. Set policies that encourage team members to treat each other just as if they were working face-to-face. Policies such as making every effort to be on time for conference calls, and web meetings, and communicating in advance anything that might cause them to miss important meetings or deadlines. Shared calendars within unified communications helps improve transparency, as does consistency, following through on commitments, and meeting your own expectations as a manager.

In conclusion, managing remote workers doesn’t have to involve the reinvention of already established management, and coaching policies. Awareness to the unique challenges that come with virtual teams, and adherence to established management policies, and expectations can keep your remote workers feeling like part of the team, while raising everyone’s level of accountability, and productivity. There is much to be gained by implementing remote work policies. Follow the above advice, and your organization can reap the benefits!