Tag: funny

The 2016 Yelpies

It was a bit of a surprise when I was actually awarded a Yelpie for Community Choice this past December. I guess I always assumed since I've provided their photography, and occasionally videography services since 2012 I just wasn't eligible to get an award.

But then there is that moment when I have to video my own award acceptance. That's not something you get to see at every awards show....

This Made Me Laugh


For Libra:

(September 23rd to October 22nd)

It’s not that you suck at relationships, it’s that everyone else sucks at relationships.

Seriously. You’re totally out of place in the cold-hearted world of modern dating. You genuinely care about people and want to form relationships with them. You’re not interested in commitment just for the sake of commitment, but it’s hard to find someone who isn’t scared off by wanting something real. You’ll stop sucking when everyone else wises up (or you find another Libra to get with).

I'm sorry. I had to laugh. I'm not sure if I've read anything based on my Zodiac sign before that is this fucking accurate.

People have a lot of sex in the cold months of winter... why haven't I met more Libras?

Vogon Poetry

I think I'm going to use THIS VOGON POETRY GENERATOR to write all of my poetry for now on.

Look at this masterpiece!

See, see the Troubled sky
Marvel at its big Day-Glow Orange depths.
Tell me, Donald Trump do you
Wonder why the Bernie Sanders ignores you?
Why its foobly stare
makes you feel distraught.
I can tell you, it is
Worried by your scabbrugulins facial growth
That looks like
A Rancid Orange Cheddar Cheese
What's more, it knows
Your pussygrabber potting shed
Smells of money.
Everything under the big Troubled sky
Asks why, why do I even bother?
You only charm Republican Policies.

Being The Sea, The Ocean and Me

The depths unwind the fabric of time

In a masquerade of all that would be

Icy, cold castles

Of inky black sea

Winds blow over time

Frothing the waves into mist

A dancing ghost of spirit on the highest crests

Flirting between the air and the sea

Begging so desperately to be

Currents flowing warm above the limitless depths

Cold and dark

And unexplored


To be discovered only by trying

And providing a light of your own

The unyeilding desire to find the mysteries that can still astound

Through the gathering pressure

To still the heaving chest breathing

Gasping for something beyond air and reason

Bending the time beyond understanding

The creatures inhabiting both frightening and freezing

Like shadows within shadows

Movements unseen

As blood in vein boiling

The dangerous depths under this sea

Safer the shallows in the sun and the breezes

Happier thoughts under blue skies and ancient trees

Golden warm sands on the playful time beaches

But there you won't find the depths and the reasons

For what was and what is

The past's future beneath us

Waits undiscovered without trying

Without desire of understanding

And you'll never reach

Into the depths of me