It is hard to comprehend nothing when you have lived, and experienced so much. Our memories are a footprint in the sand that we don’t want to see washed away. The love we share, we don’t want to know that those we give it to will somehow be without it. We don’t want to be forgotten by the people that we love, or the legacies that we leave. We want to know what happens. We want to see where this crazy humanity thing goes.
I’ve discovered I can save some time and effort writing using Google Voice in a Google Document and then copying it over. I might need some lessons on how to use Google Voice, because it doesn’t really follow my commands the way I’d like it to. and I am discovering 95% accuracy isn’t quite good enough.
The value of an individual now, more than ever, is measured almost exclusively by his or her contribution to the economy. What are you worth? What is your profession? How much do you earn? How many kids do you have? What zip code do you live in? What kind of car do you drive? Now that the majority of middle-class Americans have college degrees, our education even boils down to, how expensive was the college you got that degree from? Prestige replaces practical education, and application of learning.
I am convinced those who struggle with depression are the ones who are the most creative, the most intelligent, the most empathetic, and the most aware of how fucked up our world actually is, and sometimes they’re just done with it. They’re done fighting. They’re done with people like the politicians who think life is all stock tickers, oil, and tax loopholes, and that the people in this world don’t matter. They’ve ridden the ride, and they’ve decided it is time for them to step off.
Their terms.
The problem with depression is the cyclical nature of it.
How do you motivate yourself to do something as anxiety provoking as calling a suicide prevention line when you can't even motivate yourself to get out of bed, and face every day life?
When anxiety has you so wrung that you can barely face going to your mailbox or answering your phone, how can you take difficult steps needed to protect yourself from yourself?
Everyone who finds it, finds it in their own way. Everyone who expresses it, expresses it in their own way. But you don’t find it until open your heart, and open your mind, and allow your energy to guide you without allowing those social expectations, and preconceived notions of what life is, and what life should be get in the way.