Today was a bit stressful. On top of everything else happening, I am looking for a new, full-time job with decent benefits. Not an easy task when up against a firm deadline to get said job.
On top of that, everything around me is in complete turmoil. For quite some time I have been facing mountains in front of me; cliff-sided, icy, rocky and no gaps between them to sneak though. I've been doing my best to scale them without falling, but you know how it is when you manage to climb a little bit and get that sense of accomplishment, you hit a patch of ice and slide back further.
Now tornadoes have been set in motion on the once safe and providing plains I have had to leave behind.
There is no going back... and what is back there might do me in.
Yet, I can show no fear. No emotion. I can't have any. I'm not allowed to have feelings or emotions about this. I don't know if I ever have been allowed to.
Stoic and sturdy, I am not allowed a single mistake, anywhere, either. This is becoming a difficult life to lead. Time is against me. The mountains are against me. The threatening winds of change are against me. And even as I know I have to work to save myself in this perilous climb, there are others holding on to my legs expecting me to take them with me.
Those heavy, gray and ominous clouds above aren't letting any sunshine through, so I am expected to be the sun - the light of hope - while the others summon more clouds, winds and tornadoes.
Yeah, I'm feeling a bit of despair today. I can only look at the tasks I have to complete and the challenges in front of me one at a time. Accomplish one at a time. Stay on course. Focus. Fearless. But always doing the right thing for everyone. The winds won't change until I've cleared these mountains.
Hopefully there will be sunshine on the other side, and not just more mountains.