And today's magic number is...  *drum roll, followed by a dinner roll*: 217.6

I think my scale only knows even numbered decimals.

Essentially, no change, which is probably good since I haven't been to the gym in over a week because my life doesn't always permit it, and let's be honest, I'd rather snuggle on the couch with my amazing girlfriend at 9PM than hang out with a bunch of sweaty guys who look like chiseled statues in ripped up t-shirts, while I look like the poster child for middle-aged apathy turned crisis. But apparently my "Dad Bod" is a thing, and some people actually dig it.

So why am I trying to lose weight?

Oh yeah, not dying young. Right, right. Now I remember. Even if I drop 40 pounds, I know I'll still have a Dad Bod because, well, I've never really NOT had one. I've been sporting the Dad Bod since 4th grade.

But that brings me to my next bit of blog-dialogue. Or should we say, "diablogue?" What do women really want as far as a physique for a guy? And the answer is...

What they want.

And yeah, that's like answering the ultimate question of Life, the Universe, and Everything with, 42. Meaningful, yet, generic, and so non-specific you can't really glean any useful, or directive information out of it. But we live in a species that exists on a spectrum when it comes to what is attractive, and/or sexually appealing, so you can't really ask, "What do women want?" because the question really needs to be, "You, woman - what do YOU want?"

My friend Rachel, who again sparked an idea with a post that received a bunch of attention, gets the credit for this one , too.

Here is a young woman who works out all the time, and has won body building competitions, but makes no bones about the fact she loves her pizza, and donuts. At first glance one might assume someone who puts this much effort into their own physique would only be attracted to partners who put in the same, or similar levels of effort, but Rachel says, "Gimme that dad bod tho."

Yes, you guys who are slightly out of shape, and have been putting off getting that gym membership, you still have a shot here. Well, not with Rachel, she's in a relationship. But perhaps with another woman you thought maybe was out of your league.

*ahem* - see me as an example of this.

Go ahead, Mr. Dad Bod! Ask her out! Just don't be a creep about it. Even if she thinks you're cute, nothing turns a woman off faster than a guy who comes across like Norman Bates, and Jeffrey Dahmer had a baby, and that baby was born with Tourette's. Yes, I'm looking at you Mr. Horn-Honking Cat-Caller.

Research shows that 90% of attraction, or of why when we look at a stranger, and think, "He/she seems interesting, I want to get to know him/her," is based on the initial visual evaluation of their physical attractiveness, which is often more a judgment of the face, and facial expressions than the "bod" overall.  This goes for all genders, and orientations, pretty consistently. Important to remember, especially for those of us who judge ourselves against some unreasonable media driven ideals that very few have the genetic composition to achieve, and get saddened by the state of ourselves.

*ahem*  - guilty as charged

As I often tell people, healthy, and happy is more attractive than anything else. But a Dad Bod doesn't mean obesity. It also doesn't mean don't ever take care of yourself, or smell like a hippo sunbathing in a stagnant pool. There has to balance between being healthy, and knowing how to enjoy life. And maintain good hygiene. Good hygiene is VITAL. However, it does mean, it's ok if you're not the Marlboro Man. Of course, the Marlboro Man looked rugged, and handsome, but I'm guessing with all the horse riding, and cigarettes, he probably smelled like a barn fire, so bad example. It's ok if you're not Dolph Lundgren. No offense to Dolph. It's totally ok if you ARE Dolph Lundgren, but not everyone can BE Dolph Lundgren. You don't have to be, and you can probably still be attractive to another human being. Maybe even 1% of available partners, which at any given moment on this Earth is about 3-million people. Or, even 6-million, if you're bi-sexual.

So you "incel" guys who are wiggin' out over not getting laid, chill with the attitudes, and maybe just try actually being a decent human. Volunteer at an animal shelter. Volunteer at a soup-kitchen. Join the Peace Corps. Perhaps it's the attitude you have that leads you to think terrorism is a good solution to your inability to find a mate, is the very thing that is keeping you from finding a mate?

I think I'm on to something there.

One Man's Food Porn is Another Man's....

As common in an office, I eat lunch at my desk. So does my office mate. She will go microwave her lunch around the same time I do. Another guy who is in an adjacent office poked his head in one day, and said, "Man, Paul, it's got to be so hard working in here with her." We both looked a bit baffled. He continued, "Her lunches always smell so good, you must be so jealous."

I said, politely, "Haha - yeah, yeah, you know it."

In my head I was thinking, "Dude, she's eating a fucking Lean Cuisine. I have ravioli in a garlic vodka sauce with shrimp. Yeah, I'm totally jealous of what she got out of the freezer at Wegmans."

That is why I have a Dad Bod, too.

Pride Parade

Sunday was the conclusion to Pride Week, and of course, Buffalo's Pride Parade and Festival. I've only been able to make the festival once over the past 3 years, but this year was the third time I walked the Pride Parade, and photographed it.

I love Pride Day. Love it. Just the variety of people that come out for it, from every walk of life. It's a long Parade, covering a two-mile stretch of Elmwood Avenue. And it's all about the people. Yes, organizations such as M&T Bank, Kaleida Health, and HSBC have their representation which commercializes it a bit, but for something this large you almost have to have some corporate dollars to make it all happen. Mostly, it's smaller businesses, and smaller community minded organizations that participate. The last two years I walked with Dance Days of Buffalo, and people rocked along with the rolling DJ, music blaring, and dancing in the streets. This year I participated with M&T Bank.

People love M&T Bank.

It's a bank. I don't necessarily get it, but then again, I kind of do get it. M&T sponsors everything from Curtain Up, to the Buffalo Bills, to Shakespeare in the Park, to Free-Fridays at the Albright-Knox, to... well, Pride. They are absolutely the most eclectic, distributed, and active corporate sponsor in Buffalo, and there is something to be said about a company that could horde its billions, but instead puts so much back into what the community values the most. Giving generously in ways that improve your community is the best marketing there is.

Community is what makes Pride different. Most parades are nothing but corporate advertisements, and governments showing off all of the tax dollars they've spent; rolling fire trucks, and police cars, and military vehicles by, expecting everyone to cheer, salute, and wave little American flags at them. St. Patty's day is a mix of that, and a drunk-fest, which at times gets out of hand.

Pride is love. It is communities of people, and those who stand beside them coming together. It is organizations that care about the community, and people, and healthier lives, and equal rights coming together. It's music, and dancing, and people who often can't show the colors of the flag they fly, letting those colors shine, scream, revel in the moment, and embrace everyone with the spirit of equality, love, and togetherness, even if it is just for one day. It's showing our children that people who have different views about love, and what love means aren't people we should shun, or hold prejudices against. Love is love, and this parade allows people to stand in public, and shout, "This is who I am - this is how I love - this is valid, and meaningful, and human, and real."

It's the closest thing Buffalo would have to Carnaval do Brazil, or Mardi Gras, or dare I say it, a championship parade for the Bills or Sabres.

I love Pride.

Each time I walk this Parade, I reflect on, and absorb the positive energy all around me. The smiles, the laughter, the love.  I try to catch as many moments as I can - not just images, but the moments where people find each other, and their greeting is that of long-lost-friends seeing each other at the airport as they reunite. The nurturing between people, and the flamboyancy of those no longer required by society to be a socially defined version of themselves. I try to do it justice, but I feel I often fail. There's just no way to capture, or recreate the genuine love, and energy experienced in those moments. It is often so overwhelming, I find myself crying a bit, just being able to share that moment of happiness, and love, with total strangers.

Pride is what all other parades wish they could be.

Images from the Parade will be on my Event Photography page of galleries shortly.

Seven Days Left

Counting it down. I'm already planning things in my head. That's not good. My plans rarely ever pan out. Perhaps I need to stop thinking that way, but I never used to think that way, and still, my plans didn't work out. There is only so much positive energy can accomplish when it feels like the universe is dead set on keeping you digging out of a hole.

Things I Don't Understand

People who shame women for breastfeeding in public, or comment on how disgusting it is. I want to find people like this, and follow them to a restaurant, wait until they put their first bite of food in their mouth, and then berate them for how disgusting it is that they eat in public, while holding a big flashing sign that says, "SHAME! SHAME! SHAME!"

Cat Callers. Has this ever worked? Are you that out of control of yourself that you can't help but yell things when you see an attractive person? Get help. This could be Tourette's.

The dating games people play. Why? Why can't we just be honest? Do you really have to wait three days to text her back? Is it really so wrong if you text him first? What gives? I swear, decent relationships don't even get started because people think this shit are real rules they have to follow.

Wedding that cost $10,000 or more. Why? You love each other? That can only be proven by spending a ton of money to turn your wedding into a pretentious social event?

Lawns. Who decided your yard only would look nice if you have a plot of flawless green grass that you have to care for like it's a child that you have to raise, and Lawn Protective Services will come, and take your sod if you don't?

$12 glasses of beer. It's beer, dude. I know it's probably hand crafted in a vat in your back room, but when it comes down to it, it's water, and boiled vegetation. I think you could probably still make a profit at half that cost.

There's more. Our world is a strange place.

But, for another time....