As I sit here on lunch break, eating leftover pizza, and rice (it was pretty much a scrounging morning packing lunch) I am reflecting on the fact that my last two weigh-ins have been 212.6 and 213.2. Numbers that definitely resound as positive steps for me. Trying a few new things. Obviously, diet changes aren't in that plan, but simply reducing what I consume is. 

Aided by a pretty strong bout with depression recently, which always seems to curb my appetite, so I guess the frustrations, and anxieties of my life help in some ways.

On Writing

There is a lot I want to say on so many topics. Especially with things that are happening in this nation. I can't say it all, and that also causes many internal struggles. 

This bothers me. I fancy myself a writer, and when I'm inspired to write, I believe I can create intriguing, and compelling content, for lack of a better description. I feel so uninspired lately. Nothing really comes to my mind, and when it does, I constantly second-guess my instincts to put it out there for fear of damaging either personal, or professional relationships. I start writing stories, and then I think, who could misinterpret this? Who might this hurt? I analyze the topics I find in social media, and I have a lot to say, but then I think, who is going to read into this, and what will be read into this? Will I sound like I'm a conceited, know-it-all? Will I be laying out personal feelings that reflect badly upon those with whom I have deeper, personal relationships with?

Honestly, so much of my life has been disappointment, and failure; so many relationships seem to go south simply because it feels like people can't understand me, those fears of more failure, and more abandonment tend to haunt my creative mind.

I stagnate.

This blog stagnates, and nothing gets written.

I have stories started, that I can't finish. I have ideas in mind that I can't put the right details around. Poems exist within the vapors of my mind that will never become substance because I fear they're laughable, or just outright garbage. 

The number is getting better. I can work on my physical self without worrying about the feelings of other people.

I think buying a new lens will make me happy....

Abortion Bans

This month, three states, Georgia, Ohio, and Alabama have moved to sign what are essentially state-wide bans on abortion into law. Regardless of how they define it, whether it be a "heart-beat" law, or just an outright ban on elective abortions, this legislation is nothing more than an attempt at controlling women. Again, this is a topic I have so much to speak of on, but the overriding issue here is:

GET YOUR FUCKING RELIGION OUT OF LEGISLATION.

That is the base of what we need, but really, religions just need to piss off from this planet entirely. I really don't care what loopy fables you want to believe, what invisible being you want to worship, or what book you read it all from. You're delusional. Delusions shouldn't influence legislation, or even society. They should be treated like a disease, and eradicated as quickly as possible for the over-all health of our society.

We don't need abortion bans. We need delusional thinking bans.

Thank you for attending my TEDTalk.

Oh, by the way, 70% of women who get abortions identify as Christians. Maybe start teaching your kids about life, including sex, instead of invisible beings that want them to feel shame over their bodies.