It's so difficult to write from the perspective of someone else's heart.
Especially when my heart is so tied into it.
It's so difficult to write from the perspective of someone else's heart.
Especially when my heart is so tied into it.
Drowning in your crystal seas
Reluctantly I cease to breathe
Gripped by storms within your eyes
Never wishing to release me
From torrents wild as your mane
Words and images spin through my brain
Love and lust and hope and trust
Opened chest, and skin of rust
Exposing every nerve and vein
Turning every empty page
Ink and image wane and stray
Of my very soul they will betray
Not magic wands or words of mage
Nor swords of knights will dragons slay
Giving breathy fire to my thoughts
Embers cast on pages splayed
Burn deeper memories as they fade
Dark, in the voice you use to convey
The feelings in your heart, betray
And the love and lust and hope and trust
Inspired by each word, and touch
Each kiss, each breath
Each whisper over neck and ear
My muse to be, whom I hold so dear
Lay with me and write the prose
In summer sun and winter snows
Blooming flowers in your heart so free
Returning the tempest of your crystal seas
Once again I’m held and bound
To drown within you, breathlessly
Swiftly the sun cast a morning glow
First red, then silver and gold, reflecting off the suffocating snow
And the blue that will always follow
Like the blue of her eyes when she gives me that look
The look that says the million things that she can’t bring her lips to allow
Words unspoken
But her eyes
Oh, those eyes
The eyes that make my heart pound like a drum
Eyes that light a fire inside
Eyes that make my spirit feel alive
And I see her eyes, and her smile, everywhere I go
How the sun brings the majesty of our world to life in the morning
She brings my soul to life without warning
And I make her morning tea
Before the sun can even greet me
While she readies herself for the coming day
I dread, I always dread how much time we spend away
Wishing only to spend more time
Limbs entwined
Under soft sheets that keep us warm
And I get to look into those eyes
Sleepy eyes, such sleepy eyes
Consuming my desire
Igniting my fire
As Sunday mornings bless us to remain
The week pulls us from this embrace, when anxieties fuel my pain
But again, I’ll make her morning tea
Our ritual to start the day
Warm, comforting, to remind her in our time away
To remind her of the feelings that guides these words
Feeling within her soul, but words she cannot say
For with each morning, lost from her lips, when she cannot stay
Her scent is left behind
Left in my room, alone in my room, left to remind
While spiders crawl in my mind
Thoughts of everything left behind
Still slowly we move
Through the rapids of the waters we row
Keeping our pasts tightly in tow
While filling our paths with the new seeds that we sow
Can the seeds take root while we slowly navigate such turbulent waters,
Flowing over rock and ridge?
A life that consumes, and suffocates
Like the winter snow
A feeling that we both know
All too well, these feelings we do know
While we navigate the raging waters before us, unsure of where they go
But patience
Patience is the medicine I take
To help in those moments when our fears awake
In those moments when dreams seem possible
But our fears tell us no
When our pasts claw away at our trust
And these soft, clay beginnings quiver and quake
And will wear away
In the raging waters, and suffocating snow
The things we’re more familiar with
The past, the lives, the trials we both know
Then there is the way she looks at me
Often in the quiet of the evening, when we seek refuge from our day apart
On the couch, close and in comfort
With a warm blanket, and mugs of tea, and a dog snoring happily
Relieved to have us both together
On the couch, close and in comfort
In her mind, without complicated thought or judgement
Just the way it should be
And there is the way she looks at me
When I feel her hand seeking mine
Sliding slyly across my arm until she finds
And she tips her head to my shoulder, pulling me just a little closer
Just a little bit closer
Pulling the blanket closer to her chin
Just a little bit closer
And she closes her eyes, worn and weary from the day
And there she will stay
No more time away
Close and in comfort
Until the morning sun again shows me the color of her eyes
In the color of the skies
After I’ve made her tea
And she begins her day
And once again, she will go away
Leaving me with my thoughts, crawling like spiders in my mind
Leaving the words she could not speak
Leaving all this behind
Even in the blue of the skies
In the blue of her eyes
And the song in her heart
Her voice in my ears
The song I long to hear
On nights alone when my mind isn’t clear
And I think more about her cup of tea
And where it might leave me
A dim, incandescent glow reflected off his yellowed parchment
Alarmingly empty, as his pen dripped blots of regret
Between snowflake shaped stains of sweat and tears
Ghostly reflections of street lamps skewed on the window pane
Now flowing with rivers of rain
The rain never seems to end in this life
Sunny days are appreciable, but few
Serving only as a warning of the torrents that threaten tomorrow
Still, the parchment mocked him
And his inability to conjure thoughts into words
Or thoughts into coherent thoughts
His mind swirled and crawled about with the rain on the glass
And the ominous shadows of the tree branches shaking in the wind
Shaking as his hands shook now
Trembling
He reached for the amber bottle
A little something to settle him
To calm the thunderclaps in his head
The dirty glass sitting beside him
Days old from nights engrossed in the nothingness he was
Reflected by the incandescent glow on the yellowed parchment
He poured the glass full
He drank, and he waited
And he drank
The blank parchment mocking him
And he drank
And when he returned the empty glass to its spot on the table
Defined by the stains of incomplete rings
Defined by the nights spent engrossed in the nothingness he was
Defined by the cycles of his incomplete existence
The incandescent glow traced shadows of the sticky liquid
Clinging to the sides of the dirty glass
And for a moment his thoughts were lost
In the shadows from the glass
The shadows of the rain still crawling on the window pane
He pushed away from the desk
Stumbling toward his corner chest of drawers
His pen rolled unattended to the floor
Leaving blots of regret
Dripping between the shadows of the rain
He rubbed his eyes for focus
And pulled open the top drawer
Sifting through linen handkerchiefs
Threadbare socks, with holes he never mended
Holes worn from the rough soles of his worn out shoes
And the rough edges of his calloused feet
He found an old cigar box
Somewhere from behind the handkerchiefs and the forgotten socks
Somewhere from the past
Somewhere from the regret
Somewhere from the promises never fulfilled
As the empty parchment mocked him still
He returned to his desk
His blurry vision still lost and distracted by the shadows of liquid on glass
And the shadows of rain
And the branches that trembled with his hands
As the cigar box trembled with him
He placed it down on the yellowed parchment
He picked up the bottle
And once again filled the dirty glass
And he drank from it
Exposing for the moment the incomplete rings
Alongside the mocking, empty parchment
Alongside the now open cigar box
Alongside the stains of tears and blots
His pen rolled aimlessly across the floor, leaving a trail of ink
Another dirty glass for the kitchen sink
Streetlights cast shadows across his face
Through the incandescent glow, on his somber pace
Rain and trees, crawling, flashing leaves
And the gunmetal gray now in his hand
Cold and impersonal
He felt the hard, smooth steel as he rubbed it on his stubble covered cheek
He put the pistol down on the table in front of him
Letting his fingertips linger on the cold, impersonal grip
He rubbed his stubble with his dry, and stiffened palm
Exhaling a loud, and forlorned sigh
As another tear fell from his eye
He picked up his pen off the floor
Smudging the trail of ink a little more
The mocking parchment still staring back from the desk
A gun resting within his reach
His bottle and glass, with incomplete rings
Shadows crawling on glass
Like the thoughts he tried so hard to put away
Thinking of the words he wanted to say
So he sits in the incandescent glow
His consciousness fading slow
Mocked by the parchment, but not the steel
Compelled by dreams he still might feel
Life out of reach, but not out of sight
He placed the gun back in the box, and closed the lid tight
He closed the drapes to the storm outside
To calm the storm inside his head, and the ache within his heart
And turned out the incandescent light
Tomorrow is another day
Let the yellowed parchment wait another night
Have you ever known someone who has looked at the Moon and said it is ugly?
The Moon is the light in the darkness.
A beacon. Stability.
It is revered, worshiped, and humans have sought to touch it for centuries.
But, without the Sun, the Moon’s power would not be seen.
Likewise, you hold a unique beauty of your own. Your soul holds the energy of both the Sun and the Moon.
You shine a light so bright that it helps others on their path in this life, and you reflect their light back to them, allowing them to see how brightly their own light shines.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Red and Blue represent each end of the spectrum of visible light
Long wavelengths, and short wavelengths,
The diversity of everything that we, as humans, can see.
It’s not a poem about loving someone -
It’s a poem about loving everyone you meet.
I love the look and feel of the new Living In The Buff.
And my Facebook page just went over 1000 likes!
And look! My first article published in Karibu News!
It goes along with my photography being used for Dance Days of Buffalo's poster too!
OH! And updated as of this moment - my FOURTH article published in Buffalo Rising!
Look!
My Site is Back!
I haven't written in my blog for over a year, but now it's taking shape. Many new features and tweaks still need to be applied, but it actually looks like a site again!
I've started a new hashtag on social media - #whereinthebuffislivinginthebuff
Yeah, it's a long one, but it feels right with as much as I do and as many events that I cover! So look for that hashtag on Twitter, Instagram and Tumblr!
And enjoy this music while you check out the new look and feel Living In The Buff!
System primed and all is a go
Like bodies in their younger years
Stem to stern but starting slow
Held by broken hopes and fears
Tangled twine and twisted time
Gives not way nor right
We take each day line by line
Chin high we stay in this fight
Heart strings tied to broken shards
Secured too loose for binding hearts
Not strings of lutes strum by the bards
In a romantic time apart
Still threadbare cloth doth cover skin
Keeping neither heat nor shame
Exposing tiny cracks and sin
Leaves the wearer seeking flame
Tired minds and tired eyes
Strain to just maintain
The willing body will subside
And time will always reign
A door swings open
And the cold air rushes in
Ahead of the weary figure
Another cold night
A place far from home
Again feeling this pain
Amid the miles
And the faces of strangers
Alone and segregated
Another cold night
Alone in this room
Ambiance lacking substance
A bed
A lamp
A place to sit
A place to rest
Among the scattered papers
All falling like the snow
A drape on his shoulders
As his breath hangs in the air
Acrid and cold
Anguish and trying
Alone in this room
Abandoned to this existence
Abused and discarded
Another night
Another cold night
Alone
Alone in this room