Tag: life

Vent

Posted on by Paul In The Buff

It's a sad day when I can't even come up with a decent title for a blog entry. No clever word play. No playful word cleverness. Just bland.

I think once things settle from the movie production I'm going to lock myself in my house for about four days, and write. A screenplay. A novel. Something. What are the stories that last throughout the ages? The struggles of a common man against great adversity? An eternal love spun from the horrors of the violence of humanity? Abstract looks at modern life, love, and the challenges represented by coping with our humanity? Cannibals? Ancient Composers? Marathon Runners? Gladiators!

I guess the point I'm trying to make is comedies, and sci-fi never really win best picture, and comparatively sell fewer books. 50 Shades of Gray has sold 125-million copies of four installments, and it is complete crap. Likewise, Twilight has also sold 120-million in five installments. Star Wars, one of the world's most popular franchises, has had over 300 installments, by various authors, and sources, and collectively has sold 150-million. 50 Shades of Grey which is probably on an even par with trashy paper-back Romance novels ("...her breath quickened as Duke Remington thrust his purple-headed solider into her moist, yet trembling apple pie of love.") except less creative, and poorly written, yet out-sells what is now a Disney franchise by a generously conservative 6:1 ratio per installment. Meanwhile, Star Wars also lost out on Best Picture to the story of an amateur boxer given a once-in-a-lifetime shot at the title, and thustly, was pummeled mercilessly.

So where do I start? A half-baked romance involving a billionaire predator trying to get a college student to be his sex slave? A fake documentary about a woman fighting against social injustices highlighting the socio-political, and religious shortcomings of modern society? I certainly can't write a sci-fi about the intergalactic socio-political struggles of a young man following an ancient religion. Or, the story of a stand-up comedian who just isn't funny. Not if I want it to actually work, and be recognized as a good bit of writing.

Ideas?

Suggestions?

The Blog Bog…

Posted on by Paul In The Buff

This has been centuries in the making. Every step we’ve taken as a nation has led to this: We have completely normalized gun violence, violent war, and killing as a reasonable alternative, and a solution to problems for a large portion of our population.

Thank You

Posted on by Paul In The Buff

“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.” – Oscar Wilde

My reflection is not one of regrets. My life, like every life, has been filled with moments of wonder, and moments of despair. I have struggled, succeeded, failed, risked, lost, and continue to pull myself back to my feet, and push forward. I know I have never been perfect, but I cannot change my past self. I accept who I am, who I once was, and all of the growing that has occurred in between. I continue to work diligently to forgive myself for those imperfections, and sometimes the specters of past mistakes still haunt my mortal consciousness, and scream from their subconscious prisons. But where their voices are silent, I focus on living in the moment, and loving everyone in my life as deeply as I am capable.

Everyone that has entered my life, and that includes the many who have only been temporary tenants of my time, and energy, have taught me valuable lessons about myself, and how I create the world I live in. For that, I am grateful to everyone. And as a life lived, much the same as Mr. Wilde’s, I intend to continue living mine to the fullest, through my passions, my love, my art, and my creativity, challenging the things that we accept in our collective lives, and hopefully, seeing the world change for the better before my time here is done.

Sunflower fields forever

Where Do You Go

Posted on by Paul In The Buff

We love to play in summer blooms
In fields of green, under a silver moon
With petals so bright
Shinning stars, and sun light
The bluest of skies
Her crystal blue eyes
Warm skin, warm within
A lover’s embrace
Kindness, and grace

But where do you go
When the skies turn to gray
Empty fields where you no longer play
Scattered remains of happier days

A Story From Days Gone By

Posted on by Paul In The Buff

Sitting on a flight to Chicago. Flying United is like flying on a school bus…

Waiting for my originating flight in Montreal was a bit odd. There was no non-stop and at every gate CNN feed. Instead they had on a Canadian new feed that was mostly in French. I don’t speak French, at all… yet somehow it was still more informative than CNN.

Someone who will remain nameless… let’s just call him douchebag… asked again tonight if I could meet him in Chicago at 9:00PM when my flight takes off from DC at 9:58PM… logistics are so difficult for him.

It should be an interesting night… and tomorrow. Getting into Chicago late tonight and needing to be up early tomorrow for training. I feel like tomorrow is going to be a day of scrutiny against me… just the way things have been going for me lately. I feel like they’re looking for a reason… any reason, to shove me out the door from this contract. I’m still trying to solve the reason why. I have my suspicions, but I’ll keep them to myself.

Still, I think it’s funny. From the side of the contract I’m on, no one on the team has been doing this longer, or better, in my opinion.

The local sales rep commented, “I can’t believe how quickly and how well this whole project came together this week with no prior IT planning…”

“Well, they sent you the best they had…” was my only response.

And I sincerely believe that. Ok, that might sound a bit conceited, but those that know me know I am anything but. I will be the first person to be disappointed in myself. I have the highest expectations for me and falling anywhere short of those expectations is devastating to me. I have to do better.

But in this case, I am the best they have.

The attitude they’ve taken towards me lately has been more than discouraging in what has already been a very one-sided relationship.

Story of my life, I think.

Now to solve that problem. I don’t know if it will happen tomorrow, or Friday… but it will happen.

I’m set to embark on the next phase.

But the first couple days of this trip were pretty awesome. Montreal, a city I have always wanted to visit but have never done so. I need to make it a more frequent spot to go. Besides Melbourne and Sydney, this was by far the best place I’ve been. I think it’s the European flair and flavor that gets me. The narrow, cobblestone streets. The turn of the century architecture. The language… the people… the fashion… it was all so captivating to me. So much different than the little snow-globe world I grew up and have lived in my whole life in upstate New York.

Now granted growing up only a 15 minute drive from the Canadian boarder, the culture in Buffalo is at least a little more aware of Canada – the differences, the similarities… where it is on a map. Much more aware than the average area in middle-America at least. But the culture in Buffalo is still so much American. Rigid, self-centered, conservative…

Much different than what I have found the places I’ve visited and spent time in further north to be.

And I had a great time with the local rep for the vendor. Someone who actually said, “Hey, your first time in town, let me show you around.” Usually they want little to do with the contractors after the day is done. We went to a restaurant in old Montreal, spoke to beautiful women, watched a Canadiens’ game, had excellent wine. He taught me a little French and I taught him what a Jagerbomb was.

I actually had a really good time.

I was a bit worried about working with the guy after he asked me for the fifth time if I could fly in on Monday night, and I had to answer that Tuesday morning was the best I could offer, yet again. He seemed uptight about the job. I assured him we would be fine with one and a half days to finish what needed to be done. And, of course, we were. He was much more relaxed after the first day when he saw how quickly I could go through what needed to be done.

I’m pushing to get more jobs up there. With more notice and no trip to Chicago right afterwards, it’s a drive, not a flight. I can deal with that.

But I have to sort the issues at hand and get the jobs.

Ahhh… as Joe Walsh has sang, “Lucky I’m sane after all I’ve been through…”

Yeah, for the most part, life’s been good to me so far…

Ironic that I feel I can say that right now… it really is.

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November 20, 2008

The 2016 Yelpies

Posted on by Paul In The Buff

It was a bit of a surprise when I was actually awarded a Yelpie for Community Choice this past December. I guess I always assumed since I've provided their photography, and occasionally videography services since 2012 I just wasn't eligible to get an award.

But then there is that moment when I have to video my own award acceptance. That's not something you get to see at every awards show....