The challenge at times isn't writing, but finding words.
To create something that not only releases the demons from within myself, but exorcises the demons from the few people who read my work and take it seriously. I write primarily as an expression of self; to validate to myself that what I am feeling is real. Part of that validation of course is response from those that read my writing, and relating. Finding out that they have also felt this way, have experienced similar events, and that none of us are alone.
Life takes a lot of turns as we travel our paths. Having someone to travel with in a near symbiosis, sharing the good times and bad, providing mutual support in life, taking ownership of each other's dreams... isn't that the ideal we seek? But an ideal obviously so rarely realized.
In order to find such a partnership, one must open their hearts and minds to others. Unfortunately, that often leads to pain, and heartache. Pain, and heartache lead to closed hearts, and distrust. Closed hearts, and distrusting minds cannot be open to exploring the possibilities of such a symbiosis. Here, these constructs fail. How can you find a partner, even when you put your heart out there if those you seek have closed off their hearts, and are unwilling to trust?
And this is where life leads. You round that next corner on to a new path, and find it strewn with rocks, and debris. You travel this rocky road hoping to make it smoother, but you find that you cannot unless the one you're traveling with helps you clear the way. When they don't you give up, and move on to the next path only to find even more rocks, and debris. It becomes a repeating pattern until you realize that you're so tired of the rocky roads that you're unconsciously laying down your own rocks before you even get to that next path.
Wacky metaphor? Perhaps. It's the way my mind works when I'm looking for words. But can you relate? Have you been down those rocky roads? Have you traveled in the uneven ruts, and mud left by someone who took this path before you? Have you looked at your partner and said, "Pick up your rocks," while you keep leaving more on the path anyway?
How do you clean the slate? How do you empty your heart of the prejudices built on those past experiences, and learn how to trust again? How do you step to the side of the path, examine all the rocks together, and choose to either move them together, or simply travel despite them?
Tough questions, right? If I knew the answer, I would probably be living a much different life right now. Sometimes you can't help how someone else responds to your rocks, or even their own. All you can help is how you respond, but it takes a ton of self-awareness to be able to say, "Yes, these are my rocks. I will move them for you if you help me. If we stumble over one, we can get back up and either be past it, or push it aside, but we don't need to keep tripping over the same rocks over and over again."
Slow your travel.
Examine the rocks.
I bet a lot of them are your own. Admit it, and own them. Eventually you'll learn that those rocks can be pounded into the smaller stones that you can use to pave your path, and smooth your ride.
