Tag: Adventure

People Kill Me

Posted on by Paul In The Buff

Originally written on April 16, 2007

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I wish I had something interesting to talk about here, but I don’t. The week of travel started out with some incredibly bad weather in the North East, and of course, for the first time in a long time my first trip was within the North East.

Getting to Boston on Sunday night was an adventure. Fly out of Boston through DC tonight was even more fun. If you never flown on a plane going into 45-60mph winds, I do suggest you try it someday. It’s worth the price of a ticket.

Not that I want to make it sound like I’m full of complaints this week – not the case at all. I’ve spent some time reconnecting with people lately and having fun with friends. Business has been as crazy as ever, busy and new opportunities cropping up, so that’s always good.

Last week I ran into two relatively humorous situations at gas stations of all places. For some reason, car rental companies want you to return it with a full tank; like gas is expensive or something. Go figure. Anyway, at a gas station just outside the Raleigh Airport I pulled into a pump right behind another vehicle. When I exited my car, I noticed the vehicle in front of me, a new Pirrus Hybrid, was unoccupied, the gas port was open, the cap was dangling and there was gas pouring out of it.

Curious scene.

I lit a cigarette and tossed the match…

No! Just kidding. But shortly, a woman came out of the station with an employee following. I couldn’t hear their conversation, but the woman was gesticulating wildly and the man was nodding at her, and then turned and walked away.

The woman, obviously frustrated started grabbing paper towels from the pump and mopping up the gas running down the side of her car. Well, needless to say, curiosity got the better of me so I had to investigate.

I approached the woman and asked what happened.

She said, “The pump clicked off when it hit full, but when I pulled the nozzle out, gas just started pouring out of the car.”

Interesting. Obviously it was over-filled. The pump... screwed her. It happens. Nothing is perfect.

Anyway, the woman was obviously distressed. She explained, “This is my husband’s car. I just don’t know what to do. The gas won’t stop coming out!”

I looked at gas streaming down the side of the car. Quite a sizable puddle had collected on the ground in front of the pump and the gas was flowing on the ground away from the car.

I explained my observation to her, “Well, it over-filled, and judging by where the puddle is collecting the ground isn’t level and the car is tilted, so it’s going to run out until it levels off.”

“But what can I do???” she begged.

I looked her right in the face and said, “Have you considered… putting the cap on? After all, that’s its job. To cap the gas port.”

“But what if it creates too much pressure in there and the car explodes???”

The look on my face at that concern must have told her I now truly believed her to be an idiot.

“The cap is vented. If it wasn’t, you’d vapor lock the gas flow and stall out all the time.”

She looked at me curiously.

“But I’m afraid it will explode,” she said, “and my husband is going to be so angry.”

That was enough for me.

“Put the cap on and drive home. Trust me, it will be fine.”

“But…” she started

“Oh, drive home on electric power then.” (yes, I was being sarcastic.)

I walked away. I had to get to a flight, and really, I think she might still be at the pump debating this.

My next big adventure, (don’t call me Pee-Wee Herman) was at a very, very rural station outside Charlotte. This is a quicker story, but perhaps even funnier.

I pulled into the station, and at the pump in front of me was an unoccupied mini-van. An Olds Silhouette or Pontiac Transport, something along those lines. I had to drive to Charlotte from Atlanta so my car was on fumes when I got there, and despite being in the Home of NASCAR, you can’t dump 20 gallons of fuel in the car in 5 seconds, so I had a good wait in front of me before the tank was topped off.

As I filled up, I saw an older and quite obese woman come walking… sort of… out to the van. I’m not the thinnest person in the world, but when you see someone this large, like passing a train-wreck, you’re almost compelled to watch…

She walked up to her van and started poking at the gas-port door, trying to solve the mystery of “how do you open this thing.” It obviously wasn’t her vehicle. After not being able to figure it out from the outside, she smartly went inside to look for a release latch. She found it and the door popped open. She “walked” back to the gas port and worked on taking off the cap.

She seemed to be struggling a bit with it, as if it were somehow too tight. Then she turned the cap and…

CCCCCCCCCRRRRRRRRUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNKKKKKKKKKK.

Ok, she’s turning it in the wrong direction.

CCCCCCCCCRRRRRRRRUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNKKKKKKKKKK.

I can see her physically pressing harder on the cap, putting effort into it… grimacing and grunting.

CCCCCCCCCRRRRRRRRUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNKKKKKKKKKK.

Common’ lady, how long have you been on this planet?

She muttered something under her breath.

CCCCCCCCCRRRRRRRRUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNKKKKKKKKKK.

Seriously? Ok, mechanical aptitudes aside… what the hell?

I hung up the nozzle and waited for my receipt.

CCCCCCCCCRRRRRRRRUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNKKKKKKKKKK.

Ugh.

She looked up at me as I was already walking toward her.

“Can you help me with this? The cap won’t come off.” She called to me.

I stepped along side her van, EASILY spun the cap to the left and hung it on the port door.

“OH GOOD JESUS!!! I was turning it the wrong way????” she exclaimed.

“It’s been lefty-loosy my whole life….” I said as I walked away.

You know the old saying, “Guns don’t kill people. People kill people”?

Yeah... people kill me. They really do.

It Wasn’t A Friday In Florida

Posted on by Paul In The Buff

We settled into the more familiar restaurant – we had eaten here the night before. Kristin’s colleagues, Julia and Wendy were already there enjoying a cappuccino. Etch said to order him a Budweiser then wandered off to make a phone call or two. I ordered a Corona and before I got 3 sips into it, my phone rang so I stepped outside to do the same. I walked down Route 1 while on my call, watching the motorcycles roar north and south along the strip – either heading to Daytona or on their way back from it. It was getting close to 9:30PM and a good sized crowd had gathered along the shoreline on the other side of the highway to watch the launch. I started to make my way across the busy road and noticed the rest of the team coming out of the restaurant to do the same.

We stood on the sandy, grassy field until about 9:45PM when one of the police officers told the crowd the launch had been post-poned until 10:10PM. The gathering made a collective groan and we set back towards the restaurant to finish our drinks and pay our bills.

The restaurant closed at 10:00PM, they let us finish up and we walked towards the shore across the highway again. An even larger crowd had gathered. Etch used to work at the Cape, he’s seen launches, but no one else on our team had. Shortly after 10:10PM, the launch got underway. A brilliant light illuminated the island in the distance, and the rocket, about the size of the point of a thumbtack from our vantage began its journey upward. We watched it arch over the earth, break through the stratosphere and vanish into the night sky.

A Mind At Rest

Posted on by Paul In The Buff

You know, the Moon can be moved?

How so?

Even the smallest body in space can have a large affect on a planetary body.  Watch, as I hold the Moon tight in my arms.

But how can you do that?

It's easy.

You're holding it too tight, it's losing its shape.

But the laws of gravity and centrifugal force will make it spherical again...

Ah, I see.

Don't worry.  It isn't a big change.  And I will hold on to this piece of the Moon to bring back with me.

How are you doing that?  You can't live in space.

Oh, I have a suit on that protects me.

And a ship?

Well, I'm tethered to something here, but this is the longest space walk ever.

To the Moon?

Yes, but now we must head home.

To Earth?

Yes.

Will you bring the Moon with you?

No, just this piece I'm holding tight on to.  But the Earth is dark now.  Black, turned away from the Sun and I cannot see where I am going.  I can only feel the gravity.  Gravity is what pulls me back home, even from the Moon.

But how will you not burn up when you re-enter the atmosphere?

I'm not sure.  Something about being too small, or moving too slowly.  But I've been assured I won't.  It will just be a free-fall.

How will you survive it?

I have a parachute.  Oh, I can feel the wind now and the Sun is breaking over the horizon.  The clouds are glowing bright, but there is only an ocean below me!

You need to find land!

I will - I will keep moving forward until - AH!  There!  I see land now.

You're falling so fast.

But I will hang on tight to this piece of the Moon and these pearl adorned ballet slippers.

Why the slippers?

They belonged to a little girl that died.  She always wanted to go to the Moon.   See, I will land in the shop kept by the old man that keeps these slippers in a little box behind his counter.

They seem important.

After the girl died, the house where she lived burned to the ground.  The slippers were the only item her father could save.  Her mother still comes to the shop every week to look at the slippers the old man keeps in the box.  She panics if they cannot be found.  So now I will put them back into the box, for her.

She seems upset.

She cannot tell the difference between these slippers and some other ones.  All memories fade, in time.

We should go upstairs.

I will, but the stairwell is too narrow for me to fit.  I'm going to have to squeeze past these old boards that stick out and crawl up the stairs.  Wait, I can just remove them.  The corners are cut and not secured.  Oh, but this one was holding up electrical wires, so I better put it back.

But then how will you return?

I don't know.  But I guess I will find my way.  After all, I just flew to the Moon...

 

Kodiak

Posted on by Paul In The Buff

This story was originally written on September 10, 2008. There are many pictures from this trip in the Travel section of my portfolio as well.

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The adventure begins…

I am going to kill my laptop battery on this trip. Fourteen hours on planes or in airports. So much time to kill, and so much I have on my mind that I feel a need to… just… get it out.

Another 6am start to the trip – flying to Chicago but my eventual destination is Kodiak, AK. The island is located south of Alaska in the Bay of Alaska. The forecast for this week: highs in the low 50’s and rain. I still intend to take pictures – the best pictures I can get, at least. I should have time on Tuesday to travel a bit along the island. Judging by the map, there aren’t too many roads there so getting around shouldn’t be a problem.

But even as I sit here waiting for my flight, my mind is still scattered and focused more on the memories of this past week. It was an amazing week at home… so incredible. The timing of this trip has become terrible. Just as so many things are happening, changing… so busy. So much to do at home. Fortunately it will only be a couple days…

In the brief time that I dozed off to start the flight between Chicago and Las Vegas, I dreamt of the last time I made this trip. Returning to somewhere familiar, I could see and feel that familiar place. The images and sensations of the past. What I would be returning to, but… without the companionship that I enjoyed the last time… companionship that makes these trips enjoyable to the end. Not a task, begging time to go by, but begging time to stop. Begging time to allow me to enjoy it each minute and then a minute more.

This trip I must make on my own. Return to the roots of what I had set out for, the original goals of this contract. Travel – see what I had never seen. Meet new people. Find new adventure.

Find out more about who I am.

And hell, make some money in the process.

I have two days in Kodiak, Alaska to do just that.

A brief stop in the Las Vegas airport. It hasn’t changed. Still completely lacking descent places to sit and eat. Fox Sports bar has 20 TV’s and the same football game on 15 of them. Good thing I managed to talk my way into a first-class seat in Buffalo for this leg of the trip, otherwise I’d be killing someone before we land in Anchorage.

What was Obi-Wan’s line when walking into Mos Eisley? “Nowhere will you find a more vile den of scum and villany…” something like that. That pretty well describes the Las Vegas airport.

Except you can add to the list the elderly tourists who think the moving walkways are someplace they can rest.

I think the only redeeming quality of the place is the women strutting around in short skirts and spandex pants.

*ahem*

Not that I look….

Of course not.

The flight out of Vegas, uneventful. The man sitting next to me, headed north in Alaska to do some salmon fishing. A trip that sounds absolutely blissful compared to my reasons for going.

Even though I’m half-way to my destination my heart is still thousands of miles behind me… my mind, still, focused elsewhere. I have a feeling this won’t change at all this week.

Oh… and the visualizations in Windows Media Player take on a life of their own after your ninth drink. Trust me on this. Which only makes sense. I’m fully convinced Microsoft’s programmers do drugs daily anyway.

The Anchorage airport didn’t help my trip any. My flight over to Kodiak was on ERA Air. My flight into Anchorage got in early so I was on time to make the earlier flight over to Kodiak. Unfortunately it was sold out, so I asked the ticketing agent to put me on standby – she agreed and told me to go wait for them to call standbys at the gate. Which, I did.

They called standbys, but didn’t call my name. So I went to inquire as to why.

Apparently, between the time I asked and the agent said she would do it, she forgot to do it and therefore I wasn’t on the standby list. If she would have put me on it, I could have gotten a seat.

So now with 4 hours to kill in Anchorage, I certainly wasn’t going to do it in the airport. I grabbed a taxi and headed into town. The Moose’s Tooth was calling, as was a pint or two of Bearstooth Ale and some good pizza.

I sat at the bar and killed some time and probably some brain cells. A local sat next to me and told me all about how he’s homeless right now because he blew up his son’s car in his garage giving it a tune-up.

Something tells me, he didn’t read the manual.

Another cab ride back to the Anchorage Airport. Oddly, there is no security check for ERA flights. You just ticket and head to the gate. After a short wait, I was on a twin-prop on my way to Kodiak. I love those prop planes. Most people hate them, but the Dehavilland Dash 8 is one of the few small planes designed where an averaged sized person can fit comfortably. There is leg room and the arms of the seats don’t hug the love-handles. That and the gentle rocking motion caused by the rotation of the propellers puts me to sleep almost instantly.

I also discovered on this trip that my roller bag will fit in the over-head on them – a very important fact since I packed my camera in it. Having to throw that in the belly of the plane wouldn’t have been a good thing.

So the sleep on the flight over was good. I woke up when the plane landed and proceeded into the very tiny, one-gate, Kodiak airport. The Avis at the airport closed at 9:30PM and we landed around 11PM so I had to find alternate transportation to my hotel.

In this case, it was my feet. The hotel was only a short walk across the road from the terminal.

Monday morning greeted me with a thick fog and a gray, gloomy sky. The sun barely able to illuminate the landscape the clouds were so oppressive. I walked back to the airport Avis to get my car and head into work. I finished the work I had to complete in a short amount of time and was out to explore the area by 4PM. By this time, the gloom had turned into a downpour. I waited a bit to see if it would clear, but it didn’t.

I wrapped my camera in plastic with a hole for the lens, rubberbanded tight, and a hole for the viewer. I would have to do everything in manual mode on this one.

Given a tip from some of the locals I heard a good amount of wildlife could be found heading south toward Chiniak. I drove out at least 40 miles, making frequent stops on pull offs. I walked a couple river banks deeper into the hills to get away from the road.

Nothing.

Gulls were not flying. The ranch cows were laying down. Even the horses looked depressed by the weather. I pressed on further, to where the road ended, and kept going.

Yes, I signed the waiver that I shouldn’t take my Toyota Camry off-roading, but… you know the question, what is the difference between a Jeep and a rented car?

You can drive the rented car ANYWHERE.

I fully subscribe to that. So up a rocky trail I did drive, up mountain sides, down to beachfronts… but the heavy rain and fog made getting decent pictures very difficult. I was soaked through my jacket. My shoes squished with every step. I cranked the heat to the floor to dry everything out as I drove.

I retired from the quest a bit early and drove back to the hotel to dry off a bit and get some dinner, with the hopes that Tuesday would be a better day…

Tuesday morning came and I woke to much of the same gloomy weather. No rain, but a thick fog covered the mountaintops. It wasn’t as bad as Monday morning – I had hope.

I finished my work by 11AM and on the advice of on of the gentlemen I was working with, I mapped a route back to the south, and out towards Pasagshak. I left the hospital to bright sunshine and puffy white clouds. I celebrated a little inside and headed down to the main pier to take some pictures in town before grabbing an early lunch.

After lunch I hit the highway and headed out in the direction that was suggested. My end goal was a location called Fossil Beach. According to the man who suggested this destination, at the end of Fossil Beach is a nature preserve for seals and where there are seals, there are whales.

And where there are whales, there are good photo opportunities.

As I got further from town the weather became gloomy again. The sun ducked behind heavy gray clouds and a light mist was falling. The roads frequently turned to mud from construction and I once again made frequent stops to take pictures.

The nice thing about this area was, there was no traffic. As long as no one was coming and I wasn’t in a blind spot I felt safe enough to simply stop on the highway and snap some shots.

The landscape was revealing itself. Without the haze and fog being quite so thick, I could now see mountains that were completely hidden the day before. The sun breaking through the clouds made for some amazing views.

After a couple hours of travel I finally arrived at Fossil Beach. The access road was a turn-off just before the main highway ended and the land became the domain of the US Government. The access road was… barely a road. Full of ruts, some spanning the entire road filled with a foot or more of water. My Camry barely fit between the shrubs over gown on the road sides and the steep inclines and descents causes the ABS and traction control systems to constantly kick on.

I made it to the end of the access road and stood atop a bluff over looking the beach. The beach’s black sand looked soft and warm, but the icy cold wind blowing over crashing waves told a much different story. The climb down the bluff was a steep hike down to a rocky shore strewed with driftwood and these crazy sea plants that had washed ashore.

I walked the beach standing, looking and listening. No seals… no whales. Nothing moving around the beach at all. I was completely alone; nary a stray footprint in the sand.

It felt a bit eerie to be standing here alone. Little could be heard over the crashing surf. Cliffs lined and towered over the beach as the inland water flow carved its path through the rock and sand to the ocean waves. I walked from end to end of the beach, seeking some good photos. The wind cut through me and the mist from the waves blew in my face like tiny pins of ice. I stayed for thirty minutes, maybe more. Waiting, watching, listening. But still, nothing. I stared my climb back up to my car and traversed the access road again.

On the drive back I stopped to take pictures of a few water falls. I walked the stony banks of a couple rivers, climbing down from the roadside precariously over loose rocks. I didn’t want to fall and risk my camera.

I walked as far as I could before running out of river bank. Still, nothing.

I continued to drive back towards Kodiak. The landscape dotted with farms, cows and horses behind barbed fences. They were seemingly all over the place. In a more wilderness area, up on a hill I saw a group of dark brown cows…

I drove by them more slowly. Something caught my eye. I thought to myself… those aren’t cows. They’re too stocky… they’re… buffalo???

Holy crap! I didn’t know they had wild buffalo here!

I pulled over into a construction area. The buffalo were on the crest of a hill about two hundred feet from the road. As I stepped out of my car and stood to take pictures, they heard me and walked to the other side of the hill.

Crap.

Now I’m going to have to go chase them.

I walked up the hillside. It was steep, covered thick with grasses and flowers and water ran down under the thatch. I cautiously and quietly walked up the hill, keeping an eye ahead in case they decided to return to this side.

I was cautioned… no matter what kind of animal I’m taking pictures off, make sure they can’t out run me back to the car.

I was way far away from the car. This was no-man’s land for me if something got angry at me and were to give chase.

I reached the top of the hill, and there they were! On the crest of the next hill below, standing and grazing. They lifted their heads to keep an eye on me but seemed completely unimpressed by my presence. I crouched and got low in the wet grass. They were magnificent! A couple of them wandered off to the other side of the hill but a few stood and grazed on their meal, letting me creep closer… to maybe 75 feet away, separated by a small but steep gully.

My heart raced a bit. It is one thing to see these behind fences at the zoo… but here they are – enormous, majestic creatures that have roamed this land for centuries, if not millennia. I couldn’t help but be enthralled watching them.

I felt the wetness of the grass land starting to soak through the legs of my pants. I thanked the buffalo for the opportunity to enjoy them, bowed and headed back down the hill. That made my day!

I got back in the car and turned up the heat to the floor to try and start drying out my pants. As I pulled onto the road I looked back up at the buffalo one more time… and drove about 400 feet… and saw… five more buffalo standing right on the road side!

Well, it was a fun trek up that hill. I stopped and took pictures of these too – a couple standing right along side the rain water ditch. I kept my distance and enjoyed them until one came to coral its calf. Little baby buffalo… it was so cute, but the mama buffalo didn’t look to happy with my being there. So I let them be and continued my drive back towards Kodiak.

That was good. If nothing else, it was a good day just to get pictures of those buffalo.

I drove a little quicker now, not quite as urgent to capture more images. I still stopped here and there when some scenery caught my eye. I stopped along side a heavily wooded area to check out the forest canopy. A marshy forest floor covered in moss. Tress covered in moss – it was a scene straight from somewhere on Dagobah.

Amazing foliage and forest. Untouched and wild. Sunlight barely able to penetrate the thick cover of towering conifers. Water dripped from the tree tops; rain saved from their recent soakings. The bed of moss so soft and inviting, I could almost imagine being an animal and taking a rest from the hunt here.

Almost back to Kodiak… maybe eleven miles from town… crossing the Russian River, again something caught my eye. I slowed and there it was.

A Kodiak bear fishing on the river. I quickly pulled over, checking for oncoming traffic I backed down the highway and pulled to the side. I heeded my warnings and snapped a couple of quick pictures from nearby my car. It was gorgeous. It had caught its meal and headed for the cover of brush. A passing fisherman saw me taking pictures and pulled over to see what it was I was watching. We both walked to the rivers edge on the road.

Soon eight more cars had stopped. This really was too close to civilization.

Another Kodiak lumbered out of the woods to the river bank. The river was heavy with salmon. Hundreds in a shallow area no bigger than a swimming pool. The bears wouldn’t be at all interested in us… their meal was ripe for the taking.

After a few minutes a state trooper pulled over to break up the party, and issues some parking tickets... *ahem*. It was worth it. To see these animals in the wild, doing what bears love to do… it was worth it.

Back in town I stopped for dinner and then headed north of town to take a few more shots. My flight was in about 90 minutes… back to Anchorage. We took off under an orangey half moon smiling over the bay. The white capped waves breaking below us as we climbed towards the low hanging clouds. Soon everything was as obscured as Monday morning…

…ahhh… back home tomorrow.

But the memories, and these pictures… will keep me coming back to these two days in Kodiak for a long time.

Take Off, eh?

Posted on by Paul In The Buff

So many of you know that I once had a contract that kept me on the go, every week.  Not just on the go, but flying from city to city, Monday through Friday most weeks.  I have been to all but 8 states in the United States, parts of Canada (not that THIS is a big deal growing up in the Buff) and Australia as a function of that job.  Due to this I experienced... a lot in the world of travel.

Go ahead and tell me about your traveling woes when you went on vacation, but I can assure you, I've been there and then some.

My good friend Sarah recently suggested that I put more of a personal and human influence into my blog here and talk about some of those experiences.  The things I did, the things I learned, the fun times, the less than fun times.  Like flying from Buffalo at 6AM to Boston for meetings, then flying from Boston that afternoon to Oakland to do work, then catching a red-eye to JFK that night to drive out to Long Island for a full day of work, then finishing that day by flying home to Buffalo.  Talk about over-tired.

But even that wasn't so bad.

As a first entry into this exciting new content, I decided to create a list of the best and worst airports I traveled through in my years on this job.  Mind you, this isn't an all inclusive review of airports around the world, simply the ones I have experienced.  But there have been a lot of them...  my biggest criteria of course is the airport's ability to get flights in and out on time.  The better that performance, the better over-all opinion I would have of the airport.  But the service offered within the airport on those occasional long layovers, delays and other waits are important too.

First, the Best:

1. Orlando, FL

Obviously a huge tourist destination with nearby theme parks and nature preserves, it only makes sense that Orlando (MCO) is a world class airport.  I have always found with a decent selection of restaurants and other amenities, plenty of airport and airline staff available to assist, smooth security experiences and a tram system that zips you quickly to your required terminal - if you can avoid annoying families, this airport makes the traveling experience as stress free as it can be.

2. Charlotte, NC

As far as hub airports go, Charlotte (CLT) rarely posed a problem flying into or getting out of.  I have joked about flying to this airport for an afternoon just to get nachos and margaritas at the Jose Cuervo Tequileria .  But a decent post-security restaurant selection isn't the only benefit to flying through Charlotte.  It is a simple layout. Four long concourses spread out from the central terminal, and navigating the airport is easy - even though it tends to be very busy.  The airport and airline staff there were some of the friendliest, most of the time, and quite often I had to request favors from ticketing and gate agents to make last-minute travel changes, which they did 100% of the time without hassle.  You can even get FREE WiFi in the express concourse, which is unheard of at most larger airports.

3.  Louisville, KY

Louisville, (SFO) services northern Kentucky and southern Indiana, and despite Louisville being a fairly large urban area with significant surrounding population, the airport is on the smaller side.  Smaller airports tend to be the easiest to navigate and offer the quickest, easiest security experiences.  They do have quite a collection of mini baseball bats from Louisville Slugger, confiscated from passengers that couldn't heed the multiple warnings that they cannot have these items in carry on.  Right by the US Airways gates, there is a fantastic bar/restaurant where you can get drinks and some really good food by airport standards.  They have on-site car rental for all the major providers and it is easy to land, grab a car and hit the road literally in a matter of minutes in most cases.

4.  Minneapolis / St. Paul

The rarity here is that being such a large airport, you would expect this one to be a huge headache, but Minneapolis/St. Paul (MSP) was never a headache for me.  Packed with all the shopping and restaurant choices you would expect from a major hub and a major gateway between the east and west coast, there are plenty of pre and post-security amenities.  Security?  Never found it to be a problem.  The wait can be long at peak times, just like with any hub, but with multiple checkpoints the lines tend to run smoothly.  Usually the only issue was getting my GPS to guide me to the correct terminal, which determining when you need the Lindbergh or Humphrey terminal could be your only major hiccup.  And despite the bad weather the area normally experiences, they know how to handle it.  Even when they were down a runway due to construction, I have never experienced a major delay from this airport.

5.  Buffalo-Niagara

Ok, you know I'm a bit of a homer, but honestly, Buffalo-Niagara (BUF) has everything you want from a regional airport.  Choices of amenities, an easy to navigate single concourse layout, plenty of airline and flight options, easy and affordable parking with free shuttles, on-site car rental with late hours, fast and easy security lines.  What more could you ask for?  And again, despite the weather concerns, in over three years and hundreds of departing flights, only once did I ever have a flight out of Buffalo cancel due to the weather in Buffalo. They know how to handle it and they keep a decent volume of traffic moving smoothly even in nasty winter conditions.  They do lose some points for speed of baggage handling.  Despite not being incredibly busy, the wait to pick up checked items can often be far too long for an airport of this size.

Honorable Mentions:

Charleston, WV (CRW) - Otherwise known as Yeager, I've flown some pretty small planes in and out of this airport.  It is a small airport and not very busy - about nine gates total and they could probably get away with using about 3 of them on an average day.  But they do have a nice pre-security restaurant that serves good food without the expected airport mark-up.

Raleigh-Durham, NC (RDU) - Aside from the smoking fish-bowl (do they still have that?) this is a nice airport with good amenities and an easy, however lengthy, layout.  RDU lost some points for the 2-separate terminal format.  For an airport that size, that is pretty unnecessary.

Burbank, CA (BUR) Burbank-Bob Hope Airport is a really nice, small airport alternative to LAX in the Los Angeles area.  I only got to fly into BUR when I had the opportunity to take Jet Blue - I think if I could have been in BUR more, it probably would have made the top 5.

And now, the worst.  This is based on my over-all experiences at these airports.  I know I've heard some people say they love these airports, but my advice always would be to avoid them if you can.

1.  Chicago, IL - O'Hare

O'Hare (ORD) is less of an airport and more of a traveler's nightmare come true.  One of the busiest airports in the world, it serves as a hub between the east and west coast and was seemingly built in a random configuration to accommodate the growth in traffic over the years.  The design is still not adequate to handle the traffic flow - neither for flights arriving and departing, nor internally as people need to move about  Any sign of inclement weather, at all, brings this traffic flow to a complete halt, negatively impacting flights nationwide.  You would think with their midwest/Great Lakes winters, handling the weather would be second nature, but of all the airports I've ever been to, O'Hare seems to be one of the worst ones when it comes to dealing with their climate.  If you're stuck in the airport and you want to get a meal anytime other than very early mornings or very late at night, again, good luck finding an option.  The amenities are not large enough to handle the number of people in the airport at any given time and most of the eateries are cafeteria style, and over-crowded.  Although, the travel interruptions caused by this horrible place did lend to some interesting travel stories...  something I will cover in future blogs.

2.  Philadelphia, PA

Philadelphia (PHL) became the bane of my traveling days just because of the frequency I had to connect there.  When US Airways would insist I had to connect there from Buffalo I made sure to let the client know I would be late.  Not that I might be late - but I WOULD be late.  I found I had less than a 50% chance of my flight getting out of Philly on time and if the weather looked the least bit uncooperative, reduce that to about a 10% chance.  Have to connect on an express flight?  Then you need to go to a gate area, head outside, and take a nausea inducing shuttle bus ride over to a different terminal.  Flight get in late and your connection time is tight?  You might make the next flight, but don't expect to see your checked bags when you get there.  The airport staff tends to be miserable and unhelpful, the concourses are crowded and dirty - unless you like the refugee camp feel to your travels and don't mind getting to your destination at some other random time, avoid PHL.

3.  Las Vegas, NV

McCarren (LAS) International may have changed since I was last there.  It was undergoing a significant face-lift inside, but the layout would be hard to modify.  A two-terminal, multi-concourse, multi-spoke layout makes navigating the airport an infuriating and time consuming task at times.  The creature comforts, at least when I was there, were seriously lacking - sporting only one bar and mainly fast-food restaurants.  However, they had slot machines and video gambling machines everywhere you looked.  So if you have a gambling addiction, you might not care about the lack of amenities...  or, even making your flight.

4.  Atlanta, GA

The best thing I can say about Atlanta (ATL) is, if it is your final destination and you land to terminal E, you can get in a one-mile walk to go get your rental car.  Hey, you were just sitting on a plane!  The exercise will do you good!  Other than that, this airport is about as bad as most people make it out to be.  They do have some better creature comforts than other hub airports and enough of them to better accommodate the people traffic in the airport, but the flight traffic is intense and if there is even one hiccup, you're stuck.  Possibly for hours.  In the more hot, humid environment of the interior of the south east, electrical storms are more frequent, and they often cause a full ground stop.  Ground crews are cleared, but odds are they're going to leave your checked bags on the tarmac.  Take it from my experience; make sure you don't have anything adversely affected by water in your checked bags.

5. Regan National, Arlington, VA

Regan National, (DCA) services the Washington DC area from Arlington, VA which should really just become part of Washington DC at this point.  There are only two redeeming qualities to this airport.  One - you get a great view of the Capitol while landing at DCA.  Two - they have a decent selection of restaurants, but most of them are pre-security.  Which of course is also one of it's drawbacks.  Each concourse has it's own security point.  So if you're connecting from concourse to concourse you have two options: climb down a stairway outside of a jet way to a shuttle bus that will zip you about 200 feet to the neighboring concourse where you get to climb back up a jet-way, or exit security and pass through security again.  If your connection is tight, the preferable option might be to go directly to ticketing and find a new flight, then try a restaurant, because neither the bus nor the security lines are quick and efficient.  Express flights from Regan all leave from 2 gates.  You go to the gate, get on a bus, and they shuttle you to your plane waiting on the tarmac.  If you like diesel fumes, this is fantastic.  Be sure to dress warm if you have an express flight in the winter, you could be standing on a windy tarmac for a while.

Dishonorable Mentions:

Oakland, CA (OAK) - If a ghetto could be represented by an airport, I think this would be it.  But they do have a great pizzeria post-security, which keeps it off the top 5 list.

Kansas City, MO (MCI) - I am wondering if anything has changed with this airport, but my understanding is it hasn't.   The airport is circular with each concourse being circular off of the main circle.  It kind of looks like a molecule and is about as cramped as being in one.  Each concourse has it's own, cramped, security checkpoint.  You definitely just want to get in and out of this airport faster than a sailor in a brothel.

Detroit, MI (DTW) - The airport itself wasn't horrible, but the personnel almost put it on the list.  After a Northwest gate agent insisted I could not take my laptop bag and my camera bag onto a flight, as other people were bringing on roller boards the size of a wardrobe trunk, I was pretty peeved with them...

Again, this isn't a complete list.  Odds are, the best and most horrible experiences stuck out in my mind which makes me remember one place as being great, another as being much less than great.  Sydney and Melbourne airports were very nice, but since I only flew through them each on one trip, I really don't remember much about them, except the Virgin Airlines terminal at Sydney is very RED.  Anchorage has a nice airport - Kodiak Island's airport is perhaps the smallest one I've ever been to.  New Bern, NC is a close 2nd with three gates that are basically commercial glass store-front type doors out to the tarmac.  The lovely women that staff the airport will check you in, take your checked bags, then you'll see those same gate agents taxiing in the plane and loading all the checked bags on it too.

They need a raise!

However many bad experiences I ever had while traveling, the good ones certainly out numbered them.  I miss those days of travel.  Know anyone that needs work done out of state?  Give me a call!  I have my laptop, passport and camera, and can be at Buffalo-International within the hour!

More Eternal Flame Goodness

Posted on by Paul In The Buff

This past weekend, we took another hike to the Eternal Flame... and beyond, with our friend Jeff.  I think we all needed a hike and some reconnecting with nature.  And of course, plenty of just being completely silly.

See what I mean?

But for the most part we enjoyed the scenery and enjoyed a day out in nature.

Much of the hike takes you along the creek bed to the flame.  But we didn't just stay to the flame trail.  Still...  most of my pictures were taken on the Flame trail.

The trail is popular.  Us and way too many other people were out there, but on a trail sometimes you have to work with what you've got.

Nevertheless, the flame is pretty awesome.

Unfortunately what you can't see here, because I edited it out...  it IS what photographers do...  there is actually LITTER in the small cave the flame is in.  Unbelievable.   So we're planning a return hike to do some clean-up along the trails.

And beyond!

The Flame as you recall sits in a small cave behind a waterfall.  With the amount of rain we've had lately, it was difficult to get a clear shot of it.

Here you can see just how much water was flowing.  Ok, it's not Niagara Falls, but when you're trying to take a picture of a flame behind water falling down shale, it tends to obscure it.  You can see the cave where the flame resides on the right site of the falls about half-way up the picture.

Slowing the shutter speed to make better use of the available light worsens the effect...

But on to the hike!

Sarah and Jeff took the climb up the side of the ravine by the flame through the tree roots.  I stayed behind and took pictures of them doing so...  just for an alibi later if one of them didn't make it.

Back on the trails we came across another waterfall down stream where the ravine walls were a very delicate rust-red shale.    This is also where Sarah decided she wanted to be a bridge troll, but we convinced her to return to the hike with us.

Along the creek you will find some magnificent scenes such as this one.

Up on a hill in the main park, there is an old monument area encircled with heavy chains and rock pillars.  In the middle, a large rock that once had a mounted plaque sits, plaqueless.    We call it the Druid Circle.  This usually presents another opportunity to be silly...

And, we took advantage.

In all it was a lovely day and we hiked for maybe about three hours in total.  I am now looking forward to our next adventure, of course.

Funny

Posted on by Paul In The Buff

I know it might be the pretentious and biased photographer in me talking... and I know cell-phone cameras have increased in quality dramatically, but I still find it humorous when people spend significant time trying to line up a cell-phone snapshot of a landscape.

I wanted to ask the waterfall to make a duck-face for him just so it would seem more natural...

Windy Day

Posted on by Paul In The Buff

Some pretty strong winds ripped through the area over night and through this afternoon.  We decided to head down to the lake and photograph the storm surge.

Even though Lake Erie is the smallest and shallowest of the Great Lakes, it can get pretty angry when pushed around by 70MPH winds.

Walking to the water's edge was a challenge.  The high winds and strong gusts made it difficult to walk and took your breath away.

After watching the waves near the city, we headed south to Hamburg to check out the action beyond the break walls.

This was the last picture I took before my camera gave up from being soaked.  But it survived.

Alaska

Posted on by Paul In The Buff

I mentioned to someone recently about my adventures trying to drive a Toyota Corolla up an icy mountain road, then hiking into the face of a blizzard on a mountain wearing motorcycle boots and a light jacket...

There's the oncoming blizzard.

Yes, it was f***ing cold.

Anything for a good photo.

I forgot who asked me about posting the picture.  Hope who ever it was gets to see it.