It has been a long time since I've bored everyone with one of my Sunday Night musings, stories or Vogon quality poems. Here is a little look inside my head from August 29, 2009.

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Isn’t it funny how often we consider our own lives and the paths we took, and ask ourselves, “was that the right path for me?”

Ok, maybe I’m the only one. I do self-reflect a lot. I think it helps me re-stabilize myself and figure our just what the hell it is I’m doing. Not necessarily what I’m doing right, or what I’m doing wrong… but just to pay attention to my own actions and how they relate to the things I want.

When I was younger my dream was to move to California and bum around a lot. High ambitions, I know, but I wanted to get away from my family, and the feeling of being trapped by expectations I would never live up to. I wanted to find my own way, learn to live and survive on my own, and become a different person than my environment made me.

Life happens. I never made that trip, and I’m still here. Am I becoming the person I wanted to be? Slowly, I think I am. Do I stay on that path? Not always… life is tough. There is a lot to do every day, tough decisions to be made, heartaches to get past, responsibilities to live up to, tasks to put behind, expectations… always expectations from myself and others…

*whew*

It’s a lot.

But I feel fortunate for the good people in my life that I love and cherish that help me through it every day. They live up to the only reasonable meaning of life I’ve ever found – each of us helping each other get through it, whatever it may be.

Still it comes down to me. What do I want and how do I go about getting it? Questions I ask myself and far too often have no answer to.

But since I’ve stopped travelling I feel like my life has grown a bit stagnant. Time to start looking outside of these walls again…