Monday begins a new chapter in the story that is Paul, and honestly, sitting in rush hour traffic today trying to get to Amherst made me consider how excitedly I am anticipating this change. Seriously, you people drive like you shouldn't have ever been granted a license.

How is it that on the I-290, where the speed limit is 55-MPH many mornings we can stream along easily eclipsing 70-MPH with narry a car's length between vehicles, but then when we merge to the I-990 where the speed limit is 65-MPH, and there is significantly LESS traffic, everyone is driving 60-MPH? Can someone explain this?

Pro Tip: When the speed limit goes up, DRIVE FASTER.

Not having to deal with rush hour twice a day through the worst parts of traffic in the area is only one thing I'm looking forward to. I enjoy the thought of a cultural change; moving back into a position where I am more than just a small cog in a huge machine, where I'm not just a number on a security badge. Back into the world of small business, of helping to grow a business. Where personal relationships mean more than just going to grab a drink every couple of months with your co-workers. Where networking actually has an impact, and you are your company's marketing force, even if you aren't in marketing or sales.

It is an exciting prospect. One that presents many challenges, but the types of challenges I enjoy. I'm looking forward to it!

Another Lump In The Road

Speaking of the current job, they installed a speed bump at the entrance to the parking lot this week. Is this really a necessary expense? I've never seen anyone driving unreasonably fast in the parking lot. Don't we have enough pot-holes to contend with, without putting in pot-hills?

The problem obviously isn't the speed bump itself. It's just a small bump designed to scare people. If it was really intended to slow you down, it would be called a slow-down bump. Instead, sometimes the best approach is to speed up, and get over it quickly, and painlessly. Except most people don't see it that way, and they slam on their brakes approaching a speed-bump, and take them reeeeaaaaaaaaaaaallllyyyyyyyyy sllllooooooooooowwwwwllllyyyyyyyy, causing a traffic jam out into the road from the parking lot entrance. So, good planning there. As if people needed another reason to drive poorly, and create congestion.

Something To Question

I've heard business people using this old adage, or what they think is an adage:

"Don't Dress For The Job You Have; Dress For The Job You Want!"

Ok. Well, here is one big assumption that statement makes:

The job you want is upward on the corporate ladder, most likely at the business you're currently at. So, I work a 9-to-5 in a business office, but I really want to be a National Geographic photographer. Should I be showing up to work in safari fatigues, or a wet-suit with fins, and a mask? Should the garbage man who wants to be the town Highway Superintendent be collecting garbage in chinos, and a golf shirt? I really would love to be a Hollywood movie Director. Should I show up every day dressed like Tarantino to the Day Care Center I work at? Where is the boundary of reasonability here?

Although studies show that dressing up more does often lead to more success, those studies point out that this effect exists because, for one, dressing up causes people to take you more seriously, and two, it gives you more confidence. Both of these reasons pretty much come down to the fact that other people judge others almost solely based on appearance, not quality of character. We know this, and adapt to it, changing our own confidence, and behaviors when we believe our appearance will result in other people treating us differently.

Think about it. Donald Trump is a complete dumbass, born into wealth, who has driven business, after business into the ground despite having all sorts of marketing, and organizational resources. It is questioned just how wealthy he actually is, but we know he has had to pay off porn stars for their silence, and recently a $25M settled lawsuit for defrauding the students duped into attending his fake school, so he has money apparently. Although, he will claim that hasn't always been the case.

But do you ever not see him in a tailored suit? I mean, aside from the dozes of rounds of golf he plays weekly that the taxpayers get to foot the bill for. He has spent his entire adult life in a navy blue suit. He dresses for the job he wants! Which apparently is qualified politician, or capable business man, and even though he is neither of those in reality, people still treat him like he is. Maybe that's the trick. Just wear a navy blue suit every day, and everywhere I go, and I too can be seen as wealthy, and above the law.

Sounds like a plan. Now, to get rich enough to be able to afford a dozen navy blue suits....

But that gives me an idea for photos - stock photos of people misplaced in their professions. I might need a lot of business spaces for sets, and a lot of costuming. So if anyone has resources, and wants to collaborate, let me know! Could you imagine some of the scenes we can do? A teacher dressed like an '80s metal hair-band guitarist. A construction worker dressed like a ballerina. A house painter painting a Salvador Dali painting on the side of a McMansion in a subdivision.

Endless possibilities!

Cha-cha-cha-change of topic

I was putting together my lunch for work this morning, and a story on my social media feed about a sexual harassment case got me thinking about the overall value of the #MeToo movement. Again, I'm going to play devil's advocate here, and probably say a few controversial things. This is not meant to diminish, or be dismissive of the impact of sexual harassment or what people have to contend with.

But, what I've noticed is, almost every woman, AND almost every man I know has a #MeToo story, or several.

And I know, some of you are now screaming, "THAT'S THE POINT, JERK!" Yeah, I know this, but along with that point is another point:

Many of the actions, attitudes, and behaviors we deem to be sexual harassment are basically common things most all of us are often doing to each other. At some point in life, you are going to experience unwanted sexual behavior directed at you. It happened to me - it happened quite a bit when I was younger - but of course as I have grown older, and probably less attractive, and/or desirable over-all, it has curtailed.

I feel as though the #MeToo movement needs a corollary #MeToo movement of, "Hey, I've also BEEN a sexual harasser." I'm fairly certain that if you took those same definitions, and gave your life, and your behaviors an honest look, you'll find moments when you're guilty of it. We all would.

Back in the day, I worked a retail job to get through college. I cannot even begin to explain the amount of sexual harassment that went on there. It was rampant. There was a female customer service employee that flirted, joked, dropped innuendo, and was just outright forward with me every time she worked. Often, loudly, and in front of customers. Everyone would have a good laugh. I'd try to shrug it off, and joke back, but it was often quite embarrassing, and made it difficult to work with customers. She would often see that embarrassment, or see a customer react to something she said, and try to brush it off with a, "Oh, he knows I'm just joking / having fun with him." She was having fun. I'm a guy, I should have been flattered, or at least just been a man, and taken it in stride, right?

There was a female employee who, when I would be standing on a ladder, would grope my legs, and moan in a suggestive way, and tell me how much she loved how my calves felt. Another female employee would stand below me while I was on a ladder, and comment on my butt. Again, I'm a guy, so this should just be flattering, or an in-stride thing, right?

Of course I'm the kind of person who self-reflects a lot. As part of my job there, I supervised the front-end checkout lines, which meant I supervised a whole lot of female employees, young, middle aged, and even elderly. Interactions between all of us often went in the direction of innuendo, or sexual joking - sometimes out right flirting, and suggestive behavior. Granted, there was a lot of intermingling among the employees after work hours as well, so everyone seemed very comfortable with sexual topics, and suggestive language.  I, however, often reflected on those conversations, and returned to work the next day with an apology for someone if I felt I crossed a line, or said something inappropriate. The attitudes in return were almost always, "Don't worry about it. All in good fun." Business went on as usual.

You might not see my point in these anecdotes, but the point is, it's not just some nebulous group of horny, entitled men like Trump, Weinstein, or Matt Lauer who harass women. It's not just men who do it. #MeToo is widespread because the base of people who are harassed is similar in number to those who do the harassing.

Yes, your #MeToo moment matters. Some people have had their lives drastically changed by harassment, abuse, assault or worse. But at the same time, self-examine your own behaviors, and note if you've been on the other side of someone else's #MeToo. We all have to work on evolving this part of ourselves if we want to curtail what honestly seems like natural, human behavior in most cases.

Dad-Bod Results

I got southern fried, honey-brined chicken from Wegmans last night. I am remembering how much I enjoy cold, leftover, fried chicken.

This bod is never going to be anything but a dad-bod....