Cutting Close To The Bone

Posted on by Paul In The Buff

God showed these to me. I know, that's a pretty strange statement for an atheist, but it's this god, not YOUR god...

Anyway, after this week, these are so close to the truth, they literally hurt for me to read. Major props to Holly Chisholm for being able to illustrate just how things often feel...

This is often how I feel in the morning, when I wake up alone. Sometimes it's not even waking up in the morning. Sometimes, no matter where I am, I just feel too heavy to move myself...
...which is also this. Even when I know I have to do something, or I should, it feel like all of my energy is lost simply figuring out how to get started.

 

Which is why hurt takes me so far off task. I try to not let myself be hurt, but my world is pretty heartless at times...

 

And this would help SO much.

 

But, alas, there aren't many places, or people where I feel that I'm good enough, ever.
So I often hide in music that can drown out those thoughts. Sometimes, it even stops me from sleeping because being in bed is time to think....

 

Which also reminds me of how I've been taught to not like myself, even when I tell myself I should love myself...

 

I think it started because of people. And people are always the fuel that revives it...
And even when I think things are under control, and going well, I know something terrible is always looming.

 

Which is why when I look up from the well I'm stuck in, my sky is often filled with dark, gloomy clouds.

 

 

Go love her work.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *