I want to write about happiness and good things right now, I just can't seem to do it.
Category: Blog
Worlds Of Pain
Take away a piece of me
This is just a reality
That doesn’t have to be
Tear at my flesh with your bared teeth
Drink in my blood sucking like a leech
There is nothing here that I can teach
No lesson learned from your incivility
Just another scar on the face of humanity
Another reality
That doesn’t have to be
Another misplaced want born from an illusion
Another prize from crying eyes
Another uninformed conclusion
A severed hand just for revenge
Another wrist under a razor’s edge
In the name of this destructive contribution
Love Song
Slice away each layer
Make the next cut thin
Take what you want of me
It’s only skin
After all
It’s only skin
This Is a Poem
Poems are a reflection on life.
Sometimes a poem
Is also too long, lacking rhyme, and pointless.
Letting Go
October 14, 2008
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Within my hazy sight
A young man was I
On the shore of a pond
Blissfully surrounded
By cottonwood seeds
Drifting lazy on the breeze
In the springtime air
The willows wind-chime leaves
Sang their ancient song
And the cicadas call
From everywhere
An old rope swings
From a mighty branch
In a cottonwood
Over time
Reaching out to the pond
To the water that beckons
To the trees and birds
And the dragonflies hunting
Skimming over the water
Dancing with the sun light
On the reflecting water
Broken only by the
Bullfrog’s wake
And in the heat of the day
My ears rang with the songs
Of the pond
And on the breeze I could hear
Your voice
Calling
“Come dance with me
Take my hand
Swing with me to the water
Escape this heat
And the mosquito’s stinging bite
In the cool water
You will find me
Waiting
With the pleasure of our youth”
And before me I see
Your hand extending
A finger curling
Come hither
Seducing
Take this rope
Take this leap
To the golden water
Before you
I run
Over the dusty path
The easy path
Beaten down by the feet
Of the many who sought
Your comfort
Your companionship
The solution to this mystery
As all the others
I run this same path
Not the mossy ground
Full of roots and vines
Waiting to slow my way
And trip me before
I can reach you
And your blessings
In the water
Where I know
You will be my savior
I leap
Arms extended
And hands wide open
Grasping for your hand
To take mine
The rope that swings
Gripping it tight
Feeling the wind rush
Through my hair
Over my ears
Drowning the sounds of the day
With the hum of this motion
But not your voice
Your voice rings clear
“Let go…”
You say it again
“It’s time to let go…”
And I believe
I want to believe
That you will catch me
Softly in the cool water
As the rope slows
And the travel of my swing ends
I hear your voice again
“Let go…”
I close my eyes
And push the rope away
My flight confirmed
The point of no return
I open my eyes
And hear your voice again
“Let go… I must let go…”
And the pond is not there
A stony ground waits below
And I see you
Standing on the bluff
Watching my fall
As I reach in vain
Extending my arms in a desperate plea
“Catch me!” I call to you
But you turn and walk away
I close my eyes
One last time
Knowing
There will never be
Another pond
As sweet as this one was
And now
Only now I realize
Between the real
And the imaginary
And the reality
And the fantasy
The only thing left for me
Is letting go
Casting Call
Trendsetters Fashion show casting call with Steven Bales, at Habibi Sheeba Lounge
On A Quiet Evening
August 23, 2009
Quiet evening… fresh bread, hummus and red a good cabernet… listening to good music and letting the stress of the day melt away…
So much happens every day it seems; too much to even keep track of. Hours awake grow longer, trying to pack more and more into each day… sleep lessens and the need for it wanes… those pesky wrinkles on the backs of my hands grow more defined..
I took my kids for a swim this evening, which is never good for my skin, but if I had a soul, it would be good for it. The night air is so crisp and the sky so clear. As we walked back to their house tonight my oldest son looked up at the sky and said, “Oh, there’s the big dipper!” just in time for all of us to look up at this famous constellation and catch a shooting star streaking across the night sky.
There is something magical about that.
To make that wish. To live in the shoes of a child, for just a second more.
But thoughts have pervaded in my mind all day… too many bad thoughts. Too much for me some days… too much.
Sometimes, they have to be exposed….
You wear hope like yesterday’s fashions
And the fads that come to pass
With the arrival of tomorrow
Fighting against your static possessions
And embellishing all these things that you call love
These misgivings you deem tragic
An affront to the person you see yourself as
In your fun-house mirror life
Straightening the jagged edges
That you’ve worked so hard to hide
Pearl white shoes don your feet
Resisting the mud slung up
By the dance of avoidance
On your imaginary yellow-brick road
Your path to the salvation of normalcy
And with the simplicity of a click of your heels
Everything will be alright again
But the warmth of your heart
Suffers beneath the cold of your skin
And the burning heat you claim to own
Is smoldering ashes that never touched a flame
No other shoes will fit your feet
And your rose colored glasses
Cloud your vision
Keeping you from seeing
The smoke from the disasters you leave behind
While this brass holds cold to my hand
I am aching to move away from it
To step away
To find my way
Away
But this tether
The web you spin
Seemingly from nothingness
Offering unconditional support
“It’s alright, I will catch you.”
You call from the past
“I will catch you, you’ll see.”
But a hapless fly could not see
What you offered
Suffocation
As all you ensnare
Twists in the wind
And a single flake falls back to your skin
Disguised as the ember
You pronounce as your awakening
From a fire remaining
In a winter’s slumber
Cherished as this daily ring of gold
Is replaced by a nightly handle of brass
Offering a distance
Beyond the quiet drum beats
And hypnotizing highway lights
Beyond a clear night sky
Shinning like the fake glass jewels
You hold dearer than love
And I breathe
Free me of these shackles of ice
And lift me from the crushing smoke and smolder
I can breathe
And still you cry
While I seek the lights
Until I die
Silos: A Vertical Tour
Ever wonder what the inside of the Buffalo Grain Silos are like today?
Check out Explore Buffalo and take one of their vertical tours of the silos in 2015!
The Day That Was Today
January 3, 2007
The morning began like so many others recently... no sleep, an early morning ride to the airport, and a flight scheduled to take off earlier than most people will wake up on a Wednesday.
As the plane taxied down the runway, the pilot announced, “We’re 2nd in line for departure; flight attendants please take your seats.” I knew that meant a quick release by air traffic at the destination.
We passed another airline’s flight, sitting in the penalty box. A Northwest flight, most likely bound for Detroit. A much busier and less organized airport than the one I am heading to. But I’ve been there too. Twenty or thirty minutes sitting on a tarmac waiting for the flight to be released. Sometimes it’s too much traffic, sometimes it’s fog. They have my sympathy, but I’m glad it’s not my flight.
Today is going to be a whirlwind job. A flight, five-hundred miles in one direction, grab a car, drive another hour… all to do about 30 minutes worth of work. Then, turn around and make the same trip in reverse to get home for work the next morning. Sixteen hour days have become the norm. Less than four hours of sleep have become more common.
As I finish the last couple sips of a bloody mary and the flight attendants hurriedly rush by to clean up everything they’ve previously distributed to the first class passengers. I settle back into my seat, gazing out my window. The sun is just starting to illuminate the horizon; the sky is a fire red beneath high clouds to the east. The plane turns to head down the runway in the opposite direction. Now facing west, the glow of a brilliant full moon bathes the cabin in a pale light. Against what is still a night sky to the west, the moon is a magnificent sight, quietly following the airplane as would a concerned parent watching over a child.
The jets just outside the window whine as they power up, firing and coaxing the plane forward down the runway. The pilot increases the thrust, causing me to press back into my seat. I love this feeling. Not even halfway down the runway, the plane tilts back and with a gut dropping sensation I can feel the very moment the plane has ceased its contact with the ground below.
I lean and rest my head on the hard plastic wall next to me, and watch as the lights outside rapidly become the lights below. The climb is steep. Features once recognizable, within seconds become scenery resembling the tiny model houses, building, cars and trains I once played with when I was much younger.
Some days, I still wish I got to play with them.
The tall buildings of the city to the west come into view; their lights, green and red for the holidays, standing out against the empty blackness of the calm, dark lake behind them. The full moon still shining down, enveloping the landscape, creating white streaks of light on the rivers surrounding the city. As the flight moves further south, banking slightly to the left, the moon’s glow fully illuminates the once dark and invisible water of the lake. The ripples on the surface, now fully visible - the water seems to glow as bright as the moon above it. It is an amazing sight, to see the contrast and the change as the plane climbs higher above the city I know as home.
Yet another day has begun. I try to read the new airline magazine, but it cannot hold my attention. My mind is too distracted – not by the job ahead, not by what I’m leaving behind for the day… but… by other things.
My next bloody mary arrives and still I ponder. What will my life be like in five years? Will I be here for my children? Will I ever find what I’m seeking?
I take out my laptop and jot notes. I prepare a spreadsheet I will need when I arrive. The attendant comes to let me know what gate my connecting flight will depart from when I arrive at the hub.
Still, my thoughts are distracted…
Outside the sun has made its presence known. The sky further south is now a hazy blue. The mountains below now alternate light and shadows. Their peaks, orange and brown from the sun’s warming light, while their valleys are still shroud in darkness and pockets of fog. The moon shines dimly above; losing its dominance in the well lit sky as it seeks the horizon to the west.
I pour my next bloody mary and with each passing minute am closer to my first stop. I close my eyes….
Being The Sea, The Ocean and Me
The depths unwind the fabric of time
In a masquerade of all that would be
Icy, cold castles
Of inky black sea
Winds blow over time
Frothing the waves into mist
A dancing ghost of spirit on the highest crests
Flirting between the air and the sea
Begging so desperately to be
Currents flowing warm above the limitless depths
Cold and dark
And unexplored
Unknown
To be discovered only by trying
And providing a light of your own
The unyeilding desire to find the mysteries that can still astound
Through the gathering pressure
To still the heaving chest breathing
Gasping for something beyond air and reason
Bending the time beyond understanding
The creatures inhabiting both frightening and freezing
Like shadows within shadows
Movements unseen
As blood in vein boiling
The dangerous depths under this sea
Safer the shallows in the sun and the breezes
Happier thoughts under blue skies and ancient trees
Golden warm sands on the playful time beaches
But there you won't find the depths and the reasons
For what was and what is
The past's future beneath us
Waits undiscovered without trying
Without desire of understanding
And you'll never reach
Into the depths of me